Plaza Complaints

In response to the Civic Arts Plaza project management’s request for complaints, I have two:

First, eliminate the private gym for public employees. To construct a public employee-only facility for the purpose of keeping public servants from appearing obese is unconscionable. I recommend opening this facility to public use. High membership fees could be offered to developers and others interested in hob-nobbing with government officials during their workouts. The membership fees would then be used to help offset the debt created by the construction of the Civic Arts Plaza.

As an option to this scenario, we could pay for city employee memberships at any of the local privately owned gyms. I’m sure these small businesses would appreciate the extra clientele and not the competition.

Second, remove and recycle the copper curtain. This would eliminate the maintenance and cost of trying to stop the curtain from turning green. To help decorate the architect’s big blank wall, we should replace it with a huge Nike billboard. Since signage regulations have already been ignored to construct the plaza message board, and the commercial signs added to every street light throughout town, this single variance wouldn’t seem out of character.

The revenue generated from this large commercial advertisement would be significant, and could also help make a dent in the Civic Arts Plaza debt. If this suggestion seems offensive, then I’d recommend replacing it with a trompe l’oeil painting of the vista that we all used to enjoy before the government sandbox was constructed.

WILLIAM MAPLE

Thousand Oaks