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Steve Harvey will be on vacation until...

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Steve Harvey will be on vacation until Aug. 20. But you’re not rid of him. While he’s gone, this space will be filled with excerpts from his book “The Best of Only in L.A.,” just published by the L.A. Times Syndicate. Here are some items from the “People” chapter.

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THE NAKED TRUTH: After a young woman wrote a check at a clothing store in Marina del Rey a few years back, the clerk asked to see her driver’s license. She explained apologetically that her wallet had been stolen. But, she added, she did have one form of ID.

“I was the May centerfold in Playboy magazine,” she said. “I have the centerfold here in my purse if you want to see it.”

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She took it out. The smiles matched.

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YOUR MISTAKE HERE: Students learning English at an adult school in Paramount were asked to write letters to the City Council in support of a special parking zone in front of the campus. A sample letter was displayed on the classroom bulletin board. But the instructor apparently didn’t explain it fully. More than 100 of the letters were signed:

Sincerely yours,

Your name here

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LIST OF THE DAY: Some memorable names we mentioned over the years:

* Denis O’Pray, rector of the Church of Our Saviour in San Gabriel.

* Jesse James, Harry Hollywood and Sherman Oaks, LAPD officers.

* Daniel Waters and Norman Powers, officials in the Department of Water and Power.

* George Crook, an L.A. lawyer. After he won a Golden Moniker Award from California Lawyer magazine, he wrote to the publication, “I am not a Nixon.”

* John Argue, L.A. lawyer.

* Susan Tellem, public relations executive.

* Norm Reeder, in charge of Torrance library programs.

* Jay Carsman, coordinator of L.A. city parking systems.

* Steve Bear, an Angeles National Forest ranger.

* Michael Park, a city Recreation and Parks supervisor.

And, finally:

* Vincent Moneymaker and Richard Moneymaker, L.A. bankruptcy attorneys.

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STUPID TOURIST TRICKS: Among the odd questions that would-be visitors ask when they phone the Catalina Island Chamber of Commerce are:

* “Do I need a passport?”

* “What type of currency do you use?”

* “Is there water on the other side of the island?”

* “Is it true that you don’t have to pay taxes?”

* “How far from the beach is the water?”

JUST A FUN GROUP: The L.A. Funeral Society’s newsletter promoted a group get-together this way: “This meeting is a good opportunity to meet other ‘live’ members and find out we are not a morbid organization. People passing a room full of laughing members can’t believe when told, ‘That? Oh, that’s a funeral society!’ They shake their head and, so to speak, pass on.”

miscelLAny:

The Long Beach Unified School District advised students not to wear Natas clothing because the name “spelled backward is Satan.” The notice was rescinded after school officials learned that Natas was the first name of a famous skateboarder.

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