This Soldier Not Happy With His Field

New Chicago Bear linebacker Bryan Cox told ESPN’s Chris Myers: “The only thing I don’t really like about being in Chicago is the stadium. It’s the worst in the league. It’s horrible. . . . We need to get some good hot water in the stadium so we can take showers after the game.”

Cox, who complained about the traffic around Soldier Field, also was upset that the Bears have no cheerleaders.

He should worry about that after he starts showering.

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Trivia time: Who was the first Angel player ejected from a game?

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Good choice: Terry Donahue of CBS was asked what broadcaster he might pattern himself after.

Said Donahue: “John Madden makes $7.5 million a year with Fox. I’m trying to pattern myself after him.”

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Knockout: Faye Bowers of the Christian Science Monitor said 15-year-old tennis sensation Martina Hingis, who lost in the U.S. Open semifinal Saturday, is branching out into other interests, which include a horse named Montana.

Hingis likes to ski, ride mountain bikes and swim. She also is taking boxing lessons, which might come in handy after bad line calls.

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Heads up: Kevin Ashcraft, a 6-foot-4, 335-pound high school junior in Raytown, Mo., wants to play football, but he has an unusual problem: His head is too big.

A helmet manufacturer stepped in and is trying to remold a helmet or make a new one for Ashcraft, who has a size 8 3/8 head.

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Fast company: Earl Woods had this to say on what son Tiger would do if he hadn’t taken up golf: “He would probably be a 400-meter runner and he’d be kicking Michael Johnson’s [butt]. If you think his swing is pretty, you ought to see him run.”

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What was that again? Wade Boggs of the New York Yankees doesn’t think concentration is such a big deal in hitting, since each at-bat lasts only a few minutes.

“If you can’t concentrate for two or three minutes, something’s wrong,” he said.

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Downsizing: Caught On The Fly in the Sporting News recounted the time San Francisco Giant broadcaster Hank Greenwald, who is about to retire, opened a taped pregame show with, “Hello, everybody, and welcome to Three Rivers Stadium . . . “

When Greenwald was told the introduction ran long, he agreed to take two and go to rewrite: “Hello, everybody, and welcome to Two Rivers Stadium . . . “

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Trivia answer: Ed Yost on April 15, 1961, by plate umpire Jim Honochick at Fenway Park.

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And finally: Bad knees, bad shoulder, bad back, it doesn’t seem that there’s anything that can keep Dallas Cowboy running back Emmitt Smith out of a game . . . unless it’s a night out with Michael Irvin.