This Man Is Truly the Artful Dodger

In a Vanity Fair interview, media mogul Rupert Murdoch explained why he moved from L.A. to New York this way: “I’ve got nothing against Los Angeles, except that working from there all the time I felt a bit frustrated and worried that I was losing day-to-day contacts and control of the company.”

Hey, we can understand that out here in this primitive hinterland. And what could make more sense than for the owner of the L.A. Dodgers to be living in New York?

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IS RUPERT ONLY THE ADVANCE GUARD? It was three years ago this week that Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole baffled a group of students at Chaminade High in West Hills by saying: “The Brooklyn Dodgers had a no-hitter last night.”

Did Dole know something about the Dodgers’ future relocation?

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NAME GAME: On his Web site, newsman Ron Fineman of radio station KNX (AM/1070) was talking about deceptive cyber pitches from porn sites. “Not long ago,” he said, “I had this one: ‘Remember me? Amber, from high school?’ ”

Fineman, who graduated from Fairfax High in 1970, observed, “I knew that had to be a scam, since when I was in high school, there were NO girls named Amber. Give me Judy or Debbie, and I might have had to check in.”

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HECKUVA DEAL: A misspelled sign in a window caused John Heckman of Downey to ask, “Was this the devil’s work?” (see photo).

SPEAKING OF THE HEREAFTER: Sister Mary Sevilla writes that she saw nothing compelling at first about a truck’s Please Drive Safely sign in Hawaiian Gardens. That is, until “I saw its other sign, which read, Batesville Casket Company.”

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NOT SO ELEMENTARY: Thomas Broussard of L.A. saw an auction flier that caused him to comment: “Perhaps the author of this notice needs to attend a spelling class at the Third Street Elementary School” (see accompanying).

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RECALLING THE MICK: An item here about famous tippers brought a note from Eddie Cress of L.A., who has fond memories of his teenage years when he parked cars at Billy Gray’s BandBox, a nightclub on Fairfax Avenue.

The most generous tipper he met was gambler Mickey Cohen, who would give him as much as a 10 spot in those post-World War II days when the parking tab might be a dollar.

Cress said Cohen also would give the BandBox’s chef a $20 bill to let his dog, Mickey Jr., dine on a steak in the kitchen.

“He warned me not to talk about his tips, as the IRS was probably investigating him,” Cress remembered. “They were, and he did two prison stretches for income tax evasion.”

Mick should have listened to his own tips.

DISHING THE DIRT: Louise Wilson of Claremont says she was visited by a vacuum cleaner salesman who lectured her on why her machine was inferior.

“He said mine was made of plastic and would fall apart in a few years,” she related. “Then he said, ‘You know what that’s called: planned adolescence.’ ”

Wilson added that the salesman seemed barely out of his adolescence.

miscelLAny:

St. Andrew’s Abbey near Palmdale will hold its annual festival this weekend, at which time it posts this sign by the monastery’s large pond: “Do Not Walk on the Water.” That means you too, Rupert.

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 23-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@times.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.