. . . and Never, Ever Ask for a Tart

Recently, I was unable to translate a British sign that said “Cats Eyes Removed.” It referred to reflectors in the road that give off light like a cat caught in the glow of a headlight. They’re akin to the Botts Dots on California freeways.

Anyway, I’ve since been hearing of other signs across the Atlantic that confirm Churchill’s dictum that England and the United States are two countries divided by a common language.

Alan Miller saw “Football Coaches Prohibited” (referring to buses with soccer fans), Mike Grundmann remembered “Turf Accountant” (a legal bookie), and Andrew Seid saw a sign that said “No Naked Light” (meaning no open flame).

Seid was also taken aback in the former British colony of Hong Kong when he boarded a bus and saw a sign near the driver that said “No Way Out.” He said, “Images from that Kevin Costner film immediately filled my head. Fortunately, I was able to read the Chinese translation, which instructed passengers to exit via the rear, not the front door.”

And Michael Kenney said that when he first visited England, “I went into a haberdashery and inquired into some corduroy pants and some suspenders. Imagine my embarrassment to discover I was asking for underwear and a garter belt.”

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FROM HARES TO HOUNDS: Alert readers spotted a couple of new dog breeds (see accompanying). Susan Nooger and Jeanine Grossman noticed a variety in Beverly Hills that must be heck on wheels. Karen Clarke, meanwhile, came across a “scraffy” doggie door.

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ON THE ROAD: Lorraine Wilcox of Santa Monica passed along a boarding pass that would not have boosted the confidence of nervous fliers, such as myself (see accompanying). At least it didn’t say “No Way Out.”

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Harvey’s e-mail: steve.harvey@latimes.com.