Just off the top of his head

Random thoughts, while waiting for the baby to go to sleep and the Grammys to end:

Right now, Kobe Bryant is the best athlete in the world.

Studio City has more Humvees than Ft. Bragg.

Best word-of-mouth: “Chicago.”

Worst word-of-mouth: “Gangs of New York.”

In February, everybody has a head cold.

The richest people in the world are those who get eight hours of sleep.

Eventually, all cars will be SUVs.

Look-alikes: Sharon Stone and jazz singer Diana Krall.

The Dodgers should hold a fantasy camp at Dodger Stadium.

Women diet their entire lives; men diet just once, for three months, as if in a death spiral.

Taxes are the math homework you never finish.

A disproportionate number of life’s good things begin with the letter B:

... books, baseball, babies.

... boats, barbecues, bar stools.

Nothing’s old and dated anymore; it’s retro.

Sandy Koufax should lighten up.

The U.S. campaign against Iraq feels like a corporate takeover.

A main course in California would be an appetizer in the South.

Tennis is the sexiest sport.

The space shuttle has become an entitlement program for engineers.

Talk shows were better when there were just two.

Networks were better when there were just three.

Sequel we’d all like to see made: “More Fast Times at Ridgemont High,” with Phoebe Cates and Sean Penn as the parents.

Do other planets ever suffer Venus envy?

I’ve never known a girl from Nantucket. But I’ve heard all the stories.

... Beatles, Beethoven, BMWs.

“Evolution does not create the perfect creature, only the creature that is perfect enough”: author Adam Nicolson.

Look-alikes: Mariah Carey and cartoon character Jessica Rabbit.

Eventually, all cars will be gray.

Favorite candy shop: the North Pole in Big Bear.

You can tell whether another driver is using a cell phone from a quarter mile away.

Don’t worry, Norah Jones didn’t call me either.

A good winter read: “The Lobster Chronicles,” about life on a tiny Maine island, by Linda Greenlaw.

Seen Big Bear Lake lately? Your bathtub probably has more water.

What do the Beatles and former football great Jim Brown have in common? They quit while they were ahead.

What do the Rolling Stones and current NBA great Michael Jordan have in common? They didn’t.

This month’s amazing new novelty: gray tennis balls.

Are wood racquets next?

... Bogart, Bacall, Bryant.

Babies are louder than they used to be.

So are teenagers.

So are movies.

Everything is louder than it used to be.

My buddy Craig runs like a Sparkletts water truck.

The popularity of Norah Jones’ understated music is partly a reaction to all those screaming, over-the-top pop divas.

I’d go to the Hollywood Bowl just to hear the birds sing.

We will be remembered by our kids as the generation that insisted they ride in car seats while we drove distractedly with cell phones.

“The first half of our lives is controlled by our parents. The second half is controlled by our children.” From “Don’t You Dare Have Kids Until You Read This!” by Corey Donaldson.

Printer cartridges always run out the night before the report is due.

Caltrans always closes the exit when you’re late.

... blonds, brunets, bedheads.

Want to drive a Hummer? Join the Army.

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Chris Erskine’s column is published Wednesdays. He can be reached at chris.erskine@latimes.com.