$8.5 Billion Doesn’t Grow on Olive Trees

Want to own a piece of the 2004 Summer Olympics?

Like, say, an apparatus from the men’s gymnastics competition? The high bar, the still rings, the pommel horse, the judge’s table -- autographed by Paul Hamm?

Or maybe the electronic basketball scoreboard at Helliniko Indoor Arena, the one that actually flashed, “Puerto Rico 92, USA 73?”

No go?

Then how about the rest of Helliniko Indoor Arena? The court, the seats, the rafters, the locker rooms, the backboards battered and bruised by the Americans, every brick in the building, so to speak?

Coming soon after Aug. 29, as soon as they can clear out the place after the closing ceremony, the Olympics are going on sale in Athens. To defray some of the still-soaring cost of staging the Games -- now expected to eclipse $8.5 billion -- Greece’s deputy finance minister, Petros Doukas, said Thursday that the country planned to sell or lease some of the 40 Olympic venues.

Arenas and stadiums will be priced to move. Want to play in the new Olympic Baseball Center? Just buy it. Our baseball team couldn’t play its way into the Athens ballpark, but pass the cap around long enough and you and eight other rec-league buddies might be able to pay your way in.

Or maybe you’d prefer to rent a gold medal.

That’s what Austrian swimmer Markus Rogan did Thursday night, for about 30 minutes, after Irvine’s Aaron Peirsol won the men’s 200-meter backstroke final in a rout, by almost 2 1/2 seconds, then hopped out of the pool, saw the letters “DSQ” next to his name on the scoreboard and was left to ask:

Dude, where’s my gold medal?

Was it headed to Austria?

Was it bound for EBay?

While swimming officials and American coaches huddled, trying to determine if Peirsol had completed a legal turn at 150 meters, the befuddled swimmer sounded like Jeff Spicoli from “Fast Times at Ridgemont High,” a longtime Peirsol favorite.

“It sounds pretty bogus to me,” Peirsol said.

During the delay, Peirsol’s mother, Wella Hartig, sprinted from the stands to the mixed zone to try to find out what was going on and what she could do about it, beating reporters to the area.

Rumor has it, Wella is now being considered for a U.S. leg in the women’s track 400-meter relay.

“What a mom, man,” Peirsol said with appreciation.

What had Peirsol supposedly done to trigger the temporary disqualification?

Tough to say. Officials overturned the disqualification after the judge in Peirsol’s lane who had signaled the illegal turn provided FINA, the international governing body, with details that were “not in the working language of FINA.”

In other words, this might have been the first Olympic gold medal lost and reclaimed on account of a judge being at a loss for words.

The Peirsol saga, combined with Amanda Beard’s victory in the women’s 200-meter breaststroke and Carly Patterson’s triumph in the women’s gymnastics all-around competition, provided a vivid study in sportsmanship.

When Rogan lost his brief possession of the 200-meter backstroke gold, he simply said, “Aaron is a very honest person. I am sure he swam fairly. For a moment, I thought about gold and the idea was just beautiful, but after all, it’s fair like this. No medal is as beautiful as a friendship.”

That sentiment eluded Britain’s swim federation, which planned to appeal the ruling to the Court of Arbitration for Sport on behalf of British swimmer James Goddard, who lost the bronze when Peirsol’s gold was restored.

In the women’s 200 breaststroke, a late-charging Beard had come from behind to beat Australia’s Leisel Jones by 0.23 of a second. On the medals podium, Jones looked emotionally crushed. She struggled to force a smile when the silver medal was hung around her neck. Her response to Beard’s presence on the top step was decidedly chilly.

She seemed so despondent that a television commentator for EuroSport urged Jones, on the air, to lighten up and enjoy the moment, suggesting a silver medal in the Olympics isn’t so bad.

Tell it to Svetlana Khorkina. The self-proclaimed “Queen of Gymnastics” spent Thursday evening pursuing the one award that had eluded her throughout her career, the missing piece in her almost fully stocked trophy case: the Olympic all-around gold.

Khorkina was favored to win it this time. She did not disagree with that assessment. An aspiring actress, she considered the all-around gold the appropriate climax to her role as Russian champion diva gymnast. It was the only way for the story to end.

But a misstep on the balance beam left Khorkina behind Patterson in the standings as they began the decisive floor exercise. Patterson grabbed the opening and refused to let go, nailing an energetic routine that enabled her to hold off Khorkina by .176 and become the first U.S. woman to win the all-around championship since Mary Lou Retton in 1984.

Khorkina refused to watch. She left the floor just as Patterson was readying to step onto the mat. Then, in the medalists’ news conference, Khorkina declared, “I am still the Olympic champion” even though she was accessorizing with silver.

The difference between the top two finishers, she said, was “I’m a Russian, not from the USA,” an assessment she punctuated with a raspberry, followed by an unconvincing, “Just joking.”

Strange stuff, all around, on this day in Athens.

“I was weirded out,” Peirsol said.

He wasn’t the only one.