Spicing Up the Mayor’s Love Life

She sent me an e-mail addressed to “Hahn pimp,” saying she wanted to date the mayor.

Veronica was responding to last Sunday’s column, in which I advised Los Angeles Mayor Jim Hahn to get a red convertible, stop dating his sister and go out with somebody who could get him into trouble.

A little groping can really boost a political career, as Californians learned not long ago. And in this case it presumably would be consensual.

“Learning the mayor is single gave me much to consider,” wrote Veronica, who thinks Slim Jim is a pretty good-looking guy. She called herself the “perfect candidate” to spice up his life and get everyone talking.

That was precisely the point of last week’s column. As I noted, the L.A. mayor’s race has not exactly riveted voters.

The candidates have talked issues, to no avail.

There have been umpteen televised debates, triggering a citywide yawn.

Now Hahn and City Councilman Antonio Villaraigosa are trading endorsements. Yeah, that’ll get voters’ attention.

If I went out on the street and asked people what they thought of Sherman Oaks Democratic Rep. Brad Sherman’s endorsement of Villaraigosa, nine out of 10 would say: “Brad who?”

The 10th wouldn’t know Villaraigosa.

As Hahn strategist Bill Carrick put it, “I think these endorsements are overrated.”

But that didn’t keep the Hahn camp from trumpeting the endorsement of Los Angeles County Supervisor Mike Antonovich.

Feeling pumped up after teaming with a bull like Antonovich, Hahn lashed out at the mayor of London, calling him an anti-Semite and ordering him to keep his limey tail out of L.A.

I was waiting for Hahn to announce the endorsement of his sister, City Councilwoman Janice Hahn, and then challenge the mayor of Paris to a fistfight.

On Friday, Villaraigosa announced the endorsement of former L.A. Mayor Dick Riordan.

“I don’t know anybody better than Antonio Villaraigosa,” said Riordan, who might have forgotten that only a few weeks ago he endorsed Bob Hertzberg.

Look, said Hahn flack Kam Kuwata, in a tight race, some of these endorsements could make the difference.

Do I have to keep telling these yo-yos how to do their jobs?

What do you think is more likely to grab voter attention? I asked Kuwata. An endorsement by Riordan, or a mystery woman named Veronica who wants to date the mayor?

Duh.

Hahn handed Villaraigosa his shorts in the first runoff debate. Antonio had little to offer beyond vague generalities, and this wouldn’t be a bad time for Hahn to build on that momentum by stepping out on the town, a man in full.

In a series of e-mails, Veronica described herself as a hot Latina, although she’s half Irish. She likes Slim Jim, but she thinks he should clean up his act a bit, saying he needs to “surround himself with a less shady ‘give-to-get’ crowd.”

Unfortunately Veronica lives in Long Beach, so she can’t vote for Hahn. But there may be other things she could do for him.

“I am 5’6” up and down, hazel eyes, brown hair w/highlites done with class by a professional,” she wrote, describing herself as naturally full-figured.

I think she means business. If Hahn’s not interested, maybe I should pass the information on to Arnold.

“Steve, now it’s up to you, dude,” Veronica wrote. “Hook us up!”

Veronica, a divorced, 48-year-old mother of two -- this gives her something to talk about with the mayor, a separated father of two -- sells industrial equipment. When I called her, she asked if lots of women had contacted me about dating the mayor.

“You’re the only one,” I said.

“I don’t know if that’s sad for me, or sad for him,” she said.

As a favor to the mayor, I decided to screen Veronica in person. I called the mayor’s sister Janice to see if she wanted to come along. But she was tied up and relayed a message asking me to “take good notes.”

I met Veronica at a coffee shop in Larchmont Village, and she was lovely, but a little more shy and unassuming than you’d expect from her e-mail.

“If the mayor is interested, fine,” Veronica said. “And if he isn’t, that’s fine too.”

Janice later said she’d like to meet Veronica after I gave her my seal of approval.

No problem, I told her. But at some point, S. Lo’s Dating Service ought to get a cushy city contract, especially since they’ve been handed out like candy at City Hall. All this matchmaking is starting to eat up a lot of my time.

The mayor checked in with me Friday after I left him word about Veronica.

“It is kind of a sad situation,” Slim Jim said, “when the mayor can’t get a date.”

Your troubles are over, I told him.

“Does she have a convertible?” Hahn asked. “Or do I have to rent one?”

The mayor said he’s flattered, actually, but this isn’t the best time for him to start a romance.

I beg to differ. Having Veronica on his arm the next several weeks trumps Antonio’s dance with Riordan. But I can’t run the mayor’s life for him.

“I expect she’s very wonderful,” Hahn said of Veronica. “I don’t have time for dating right now, but I appreciate the interest.”

I told him I’d suggest that Veronica give it another whirl after the election.

“That’s fine,” the mayor said.

Like I’ve said before, the mayor could use a little more of his sister’s personality. Janice, also single, had a question for me.

Could I screen eligible bachelors for her?

You know the e-mail address, gents.

Janice wants a good, decent chap, and she’d prefer someone tall.

The things I do for these Hahns.

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Steve Lopez writes Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Reach him at steve.lopez@latimes.com and read previous columns at www.latimes.com/lopez.