Charlie's story, via Twitter: The "Anger Management" star had his lady and her friends out for her birthday dinner in a private room when the party learned that Rihanna was also on the premises.
(It's her favorite eatery, according to X17 Online.)
Turns out that Scottine Sheen — she's no longer Brett Rossi, having recently left her porn past and porn name behind, adding her man's last name early because she was going to change hers anyway — is a "huge fan" of RiRi and her music. Or was. 'Cause the pop star, 26, apparently said no after Charlie, 48, sent a request her way asking for an introduction.
"well, the word we received back was that there were too many paps outside and it just wasn't possible at this time," Charlie said. "At this time? AT THIS TIME?? lemme guess, we're to reschedule another random 11 million to 1 encounter with her some other night...?"
Not that Charlie cares, mind you: "no biggie for me; it would have been 84 interminable seconds of chugging Draino and '>please kill me now' that I'd never get back," he said.
Unfortunately, Scottine did care.
"Nice impression you left behind, Bday or not," Charlie continued. "Sorry we're not KOOL enough to warrant a blessing from the Princess. (or in this case the Village idiot)"
He then went on to explain his practice of always taking time for fans in his 31-year career. (It's a career that's been around longer than Scottine has, actually — the just-turned-25-year-old was born around the time her beau's movie "Major League" was in theaters.)
"Good will" and "common courtesy" have been his guideposts, he said.
"See ya on the way down, (we always do) and actually, it was a pleasure NOT meeting you. clearly we have NOTHING in common when it comes to respect for those who've gone before you. I'm guessing you needed those precious 84 seconds to situate that bad wig before you left the restaurant."
Ouch. For the record, the bewigged one was in fact swarmed by photographers and videographers as she left the joint.
Rihanna tweeted her responses Thursday a couple of hours after Charlie let fly, saying "Goooorrrrrrlllllll......," before sniping, "If that old queen don't get ha diapers out of a bunch..."
But did Rihanna even know she'd been invited to meet? A tweet from Scottine directed toward her possibly former idol suggests that was a possibility.
"if you 'didn't know' then why the red come back? Why not just put a statement out taking the high road and apologizing," Scottine wrote.
"I'm a huge fan of your music, but to bash someone when you're claiming innocence? Not cool," she continued in a series of tweets. "our security team spoke to your team, they said your manager would talk to you. They came back to our private room and said that you stated 'there were too many paps' when 1) there were three 2) we had a private room 3) we weren't asking much."
(More bonus points awarded, this time to Scottine for tweeting in reasonable English with few extraneous punctuation marks or capital letters. Not to mention using "your" and "you're" correctly.)
Then another Twitter user needled Scottine for getting upset and not simply moving on.
"Nah, life's too short to be mad. I tweeted to explain to her the situation," she wrote.