Joaquin Phoenix: Not engaged, but not exactly ‘so boring’

Joaquin Phoenix is no longer engaged to his yoga instructor, he announced Tuesday on “Good Morning America.”

Actually, Joaquin Phoenix was never engaged to his yoga instructor, contrary to what he’d announced on David Letterman’s show Monday night.

Does Joaquin Phoenix even have a yoga instructor?

Celebrities -- they’re so complicated.

“I think like my life’s so boring, and it seemed like something exciting to talk about, and I wanted the audience to like me. They really like people getting married,” the “Inherent Vice” actor, who’s well-known for his quirky and sometimes undetectable sense of humor, said on “GMA.”

“I can get engaged again, if you like,” he said. People pleaser!

Truth be told, the Letterman bit was one of the better celebrity engagement announcements we’ve seen. No dry, statement-from-his-rep, we-saw-her-wearing-a-ring story here.

It all started with Phoenix describing “the harnessing of the hog,” which he claimed was a yoga pose.

“Before I can say, ‘Who’s the hog,’ she grabs me,” the 40-year-old explained to Letterman, who really wasn’t buying any of it.

“That’s not yoga. There’s no harnessing of the hog,” the host said, which prompted his suit-clad guest to take to the studio floor to demonstrate.

Putting himself in a “compromising and vulnerable position,” Phoenix ran through what allegedly happened: “She gets a strap ... she pulls me up like this ... so my, like, Julio Iglesias is up next to her goulash and she’s thrusting, she’s pulling ...”

You get the idea. Mm hmm. At that point, who wouldn’t pop the question?

Demonstration over, the actor returned to his seat and delivered the “news”: “This is the crazy part of the story,” he said. “We started dating, and I think she’s the one. I proposed to her, and she said yes.”

Cue applause from an approving audience.

Alas, the blissful “engagement” would last only a few hours -- until his “GMA” interview Tuesday morning, when he came clean to George Stephanopolous.

Phoenix’s camp backed up the no-engagement story: “Joaquin has an extraordinary and spontaneous sense of humor,” his rep told Britain’s Independent, “but it is not true.”

Also untrue: The whole notion of a yoga instructor in the first place.

“Do you do yoga?,” Michael Strahan asked on “Live! with Kelly and Michael.”

“No,” said Phoenix.

He then revealed he actually is engaged -- to “Walk the Line” costar Reese Witherspoon.

Good luck with that, Joaquin. Witherspoon’s been married to agent Jim Toth since 2011. At any rate, it wouldn’t be boring.

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