The Kardashian Christmas card for 2013 is, in a word, weird.
Weird in its surreal nature. Weird in its complete lack of Christmas sentiment, or sentiment of any other holiday, excepting perhaps a twisted, neon-filled New Year's Eve. Weird in that most of the guys in the family are missing, except for one boy child, Mason, and one man, Bruce Jenner, who's conveniently trapped in a narrow glass tube, desperately reaching for one of his Olympic medals.
OK, Kanye West and Lamar Odom do make appearances on some of the many entertainment mags strewn around the floor, as E! News points out, but that's not clear unless you stare at the card for a long, long time — which just might make your brain explode.
Scott Disick and Rob Kardashian (who's actually a blood relative) are nowhere to be seen, though both, like Odom, have been included in previous cards.
Kim's there in fine form, breasts practically bursting out of her long, high-slit gown, but daughter North West is a no-show. Kendall and Kylie, the Jenner girls, strike poses in similarly high-slit garb. Kourtney shows leg with a seemingly wiped-out Mason Disick. Kourtney holds daughter Penelope Disick. And momager Kris Jenner rules over it all from a seat on what appears to be a cashier's booth.
No message there ...
Here's a good clean look at the card. Click on the David LaChappelle image once and it gets even bigger. You know, so you can take in the details.
Before the brain explosion.