Though it never actually happened, just imagine this assemblage of talent in a room together: Freddie Prinze Jr., Jennifer Love Hewitt, Val Kilmer, Anne Bancroft (in her last role), Chris Kattan, Malcolm McDowell, Louis Gossett Jr., Michael Clarke Duncan, Eric Idle, Kelly Ripa and, presiding over it all like some mad master of ceremonies, Burt Reynolds.
Their imaginary chatter between takes would surely be more interesting than the rote dialogue they were all asked to recite as the voice actors in "Delgo," a computer-animated adventure created by a team of filmmakers working in Atlanta.
The story is a mishmash of adventure-fantasy tropes -- swiping most liberally from "The Lord of the Rings" and the "Star Wars" pictures -- based around two warring peoples and the young lovers whose affections cross enemy lines. You can likely guess the rest.
It says plenty about how torpid the storytelling in "Delgo" is that the end credits are probably the best thing in the film, showing concept drawings that are far livelier and more imaginative-looking than their final rendered iterations, as well as a handful of unusual credits, most brain-teasing being a "script consultant" mention for the notorious film festival presence Jeff "The Dude" Dowd.
Olsen is a freelance writer.