The incident created a headache for commuters in the borough, who were forced to wait as workers attempted to coax the wee felines off the tracks. Or, as Colbert joked, “Hundreds of Brooklynites were stuck on the platform with nothing to
The incident occurred just weeks before New Yorkers are set to vote in the mayoral primary and, naturally, candidates from both political parties weighed in with their thoughts, with most suggesting the rescue was worth the inconvenience it caused to hundreds of straphangers.
“He will not only stop trains for kittens, he will personally crawl over the third rail to do it,” promised Barbara Morgan, spokeswoman for candidate
Nearly all the other candidates, including Democrat
This hard-line position made Lhota the only "pro-dead kitten candidate in this race, or any race," Colbert observed. And that's not a bad place to be: While the remaining contenders will split the pro-kitten vote, Lhota had a lock on the "key anti-kitten demographics of sociopaths, rats large enough to vote, and A.L.F," Colbert said.
While the host clearly admired Lhota's willingness to take an unpopular stance, he decided to withhold his endorsement until the candidate was able to prove he "walks the walk" when it comes to kitten-killing.
For August and Arthur's sake, let's hope Lhota was bluffing.