Polo pony and bottled water: fantasy gifts for William and Kate's baby

For the royal baby, may we suggest a onesie from Kim and Kanye that says: My bestie is North Westie'?

Congratulations to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, whose new baby girl was born Saturday morning. All is well, according to reports, and the parents, grandparents and royal great-grandmother Queen Elizabeth II are all delighted, of course.

A new bundle of joy inevitably means a bundle of baby gifts. But when that baby already has the Falkland Islands and a great-grandmother whose face appears on coins and currency around the globe it can become, well, a royal pain.

To that end, we’ve taken the liberty of compiling a short list of fantastical gift ideas for the daughter of Prince William and his duchess, the former Kate Middleton, that are sure to make an impression. (And trust us, returning a herd of elephants isn’t as easy as you might think.)

From American pop culture royalty Kanye West and Kim Kardashian West: A baby onesie screen-printed with the slogan: “My Bestie is North Westie”

From a guy who literally has castles on both U.S. coasts, Walt Disney Chairman and CEO Robert Iger: A crawl-on cameo in the next installment of the “Star Wars” franchise

From British fashion princeling Burberry CEO and Chief Creative Officer Christopher Bailey: A lifetime supply of khaki-colored bespoke Burberry trench coat gabardine diapers (both stylish and waterproof!).

From the woman with her own publishing empire, author J.K. Rowling: A cloak of invisibility to protect HRH from prying paparazzi.

From the empress of fashion glossies, Vogue Editor-in-Chief Anna Wintour: The co-hosting gig for the 2035 Met Gala.

From the reigning king of Silicon Valley, Apple CEO Tim Cook: A Jonathan Ive-designed one-of-a-kind Apple Watch Royal Baby Edition, features of which include a baby monitor and sterling silver spoon teething clasp built into the band.

From the king of Americana, Ralph Lauren: A live polo pony (named Ralph, naturally).

From prince among boy bands Harry Styles:  Zayn Malik’s spot in One Direction.

From the closest thing America has to a reigning monarch, President Obama: A congratulatory box of newly legal Cuban cigars (for the proud parents, mind you – not the baby).

From the U.S. lady-in-waiting Hillary Clinton: A dedicated private email server.

From the caliph of California, Jerry Brown: The drought-stricken state’s last case of Arrowhead bottled water.

From British pop culture royalty David and Victoria Beckham: Naming rights for the MLS team stadium Team Becks is angling to build in Miami.

If there's an over-the-top gift you think belongs on the list, feel free to share your suggestions in the comments section.

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