For Crime Scene Investigations, West L.A. Is Going to the Dogs

The Thin Blue Line, an in-house Los Angeles Police Department newspaper, said the driver of a reported hit-and-run car accident was asked if she was injured. “No,” came the reply, “but my dog is. His back hurts....”

When the victim was asked what color her hair was, she responded, “Blond, but you can list it as golden.” And the damaged area of her car? “There, that scratch, on the license plate frame.”

Commented the Blue Line: “The result of this intense field investigation was a five-page hit-and-run report with no follow-up. Yep, that’s West L.A. for you.”

Moving down the golden coast: “A resident called police after catching a spider,” reported the police blotter of the Laguna News-Post.

“He asked the police if they knew whether the insect was a black widow and what should be done with it.”

Added neighbor Randy Ray: “Two police cars were sent to the location.

“I’m a retired LAPD detective and I now live in Laguna Beach,” Ray said. “This is why. The major crime around here is a black widow spider.”

The people’s real choice? When I first glanced at a Pico Rivera campaign placard shot by Monica Moore, I thought voters were being given the chance to vote for “None of the Above” (see photo).

I’d love to see such a listing go on the ballot in Southern California, by the way.

“None of the Above” wouldn’t need a single campaign donation to knock out a number of incumbents.

From no one to someone: Talk about personalized service! Jon Lovgren of Atascadero saw a van delivering goods to a lucky customer named Les (see photo).

Crime isn’t pretty: Stephanie Ulmer of Claremont noticed a bail bonds agency with an unusual motto, probably the most unusual I’ve heard of since boxer-turned-bondsman Art Aragon came up with “I’ll Get You Out If It Takes 10 Years” (see accompanying).

The naked truth: A discussion here about the long-running identity crisis of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim mentioned the 1988 comedy “The Naked Gun,” in which a Queen Elizabeth II look-alike visits an Angel game.

Before the first pitch, announcer Curt Gowdy says, “We’re coming to you live from the Big A,” referring to the team’s Anaheim home.

I echoed Gowdy, unobservant one that I am. But readers Scott Fields, Art Leahy and Ken McIntyre, among others, pointed out that the game was actually filmed at Dodger Stadium.

I wonder if the movie’s misrepresentation of the Big A could serve as the basis for another lawsuit filed by the city of Anaheim.

miscelLAny: Before ending a recent interview with KFWB-AM (980) about a proposed sales tax increase, L.A. City Council President Alex Padilla delivered a traffic report about congestion on the Golden State Freeway. Further proof that every L.A. story has a traffic angle.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATimes, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.