The strange, rarefied world of flying bananas

It was just a bunch of bananas, but when I saw them hanging from a hook — artistically displayed like some culinary exhibition — I knew I’d crossed over into a new, surreal territory.

I was standing in the Laguna Beach Gelson’s produce aisle, feeling a little lost in the supermarket.

The grand opening last week had a bit of a been-there, done-that feel to it since residents had just survived the Haggen implosion only months before.

This felt similar but oddly distant. Maybe it’s because we knew Gelson’s going in. There is after all another one just a few miles down the street. So for this grand opening, it was more circumstance than pomp. In other words, it’s hard to get excited about a Gelson’s, where you’re paying considerably more for nearly everything.

If we’re honest.

Now, is the quality better? Sure, mostly. But in a lot of cases, it’s the same products. Diet Coke is Diet Coke.

Are the bananas better because they’re flayed on a hook? Presentation is great, but given the choice between lower prices and Cirque du Soleil bananas, I’ll take the non-flying ones.

Besides, at what point are flying bananas considered excessive?

And this has little to do with Gelson’s per se; you could add Whole Foods to this equation or any number of regional stores across the country that are insanely expensive. (And before you even say it, I know Whole Foods offers “organic,” but why are they charging twice as much for nonorganic food too?)

Anyway, the point is, Gelson’s represents a certain lifestyle, demographic, market, whatever you want to call it. It’s upscale and discerning. Is that bad? Not necessarily.

But here is what I wonder: When is enough enough?

Do we need certified Angus prime beef that’s “so exclusive it must pass nine more specifications than USDA prime,” according to a Gelson’s marketing flier?

Do we need a $7 “super sausage” that’s “pleasingly plump and subtly spicy”?

I travel occasionally. I see other countries. I’m not going to make the easy comparison to some starving African nation. But what about Garden Grove?

There’s no Gelson’s in Garden Grove.

These are the ZIP codes that can sustain a Gelson’s: Newport Beach, Dana Point, Ladera Ranch, Irvine, Marina Del Ray, Century City, Silver Lake and nearly every other tony community in Southern California.

Again, I’m not trying to pick on Gelson’s. If people in those cities can afford to pay — and like the result — then that’s how it works in a free market economy.

I’m just highlighting the fact that the store used to be an Albertsons — not cheap, but not too expensive. Now, it’s something entirely different.

Look, the parking lot is busy again. The adjacent stores are happy. Laid-off employees have been rehired. That’s all great.

But the outcome is undeniable: It’s another example of how Laguna Beach is changing and getting more expensive.

It’s not unlike how the new restaurants in town are always more expensive. New boutique stores are always more exclusive.

At the same time, we can’t support an artist live-work project.

We can’t reconsider more affordable housing downtown, including lofts for students or millennials.

We can’t approve a location for permanent supportive housing for the homeless.

Instead, we have flying bananas.

Somewhere along the way, these examples add up. It’s a slow encroachment, like the boiling frog.

At what point do we own up to the excess? Should we feel guilty at all? Does the fact that we volunteer, give to charity and not kick our cat give us the moral clearance to lead the Gelson’s life?

I don’t know.

Personally, I just know how I felt when I looked at all the immaculate produce, the glistening meats and exotic fish.

I was in another world — somewhere so rare and perfect — and it didn’t feel quite right.

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DAVID HANSEN is a writer and Laguna Beach resident. He can be reached at hansen.dave@gmail.com.