‘What gun? Oh, this gun? Uh, it came with the pants’

Not everyone is born with the talent to make up plausible alibis on a moment’s notice. Take the gang member walking down an L.A. street with a handgun visible in his waistband. Before he donned a pair of handcuffs, he told officers John Banuelos and Manny Sierra that “the pants he was wearing were actually not his and he hadn’t noticed that it [the gun] was in there,” said the Thin Blue Line, an LAPD newspaper. Further proof of the complications that can ensue if you get in someone else’s pants.

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Fast-breaking outta here? The revelation by Lakers owner Jerry Buss that he would consider trading Kobe Bryant is just the latest jolt to hit the franchise. Spirits are so low in the organization, I understand, that even Magic Johnson seems to be deserting Staples Center (see photo).

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Unreal estate: Bruce and Carol Wagner of Lake Arrowhead were certain the owner of one property wanted to level with potential buyers but the ad was a bit confusing (see accompanying). Turned out there should have been a comma after the word “level.”

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Not a second to waste: Two gas stations in the Silver Lake district have dueling signs for commuters who are really in a hurry -- typical Southern California commuters, in other words (see photo).

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Someone who should have been in more of a hurry: A Claremont couple came home to discover that their house had been burglarized. They called police. When officers arrived, one of the residents decided to go through her possessions to look for missing items. As she was searching the master bedroom, she “spotted the suspect crouching behind some clothes,” the Claremont Courier said. Needless to say, the slowpoke was arrested.

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Speaking of poor getaway strategy: In the “First Responders Handbook of Humor,” authors John Hicks and Dan Jordan write of the time that two thieves embarked on a residential burglary in L.A. One was to go inside, the other would be the lookout. They were unaware that neighbors were watching. When sheriff’s deputies arrived, the lookout not only didn’t warn his confederate, he showed no awareness of their presence. They arrested him along with the inside man, who was just exiting. It was only later, said Det. Chris Christopher, that officers learned the lookout was legally blind.

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miscelLAny: The Lakers’ Bryant, with his on-again, off-again demands, has even been taking his lumps in the movies of late. In “The Kingdom,” two FBI agents chat about the split-up between Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal.

One agent says that if Shaq had been able to make more free throws, the two would have stayed together. “I don’t know about that part,” says the other, played by Jamie Foxx. “Kobe’s a hater.”

Whew! I hope Foxx doesn’t have to sit near Jack Nicholson at any games.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.Harvey@latimes.com