HELP WANTED

Tax dollars are hard at work trying to find the USC Trojans a path to the national title that includes losing to a 25-point underdog, but the new administration doesn’t swear in until 12 days after this season’s Bowl Championship Series national title game in South Florida.

So, for now, it’s fourth and long for USC, and the Trojans are trailing late, which sounds a lot like the Oregon State game.

You wonder why President-elect Barack Obama selected Sen. Joe Biden (D-Del.) as his running mate instead of Hillary Rodham Clinton?

It’s starting to make sense now.

On Oct. 29, 2003, Biden participated in a Senate Judiciary Committee meeting on why the BCS should be allowed to live.

The “Big Three” automobile executives didn’t get roughed up any worse.

Biden remarked of the BCS: “It looks un-American. It really does. It looks unfair. It looks like a rigged deal.”

Biden’s forceful action on the issue has led to . . . five more years of the BCS.

It seems clear now, Clinton never had a chance as a vice-presidential selection in an Obama Administration.

Sounds as if bailout help is on the way, USC, maybe in six or seven years, but not nearly in time for tonight’s giblet gala between Texas vs. Texas A&M.;

So what now?

With two weekends left, USC is No. 5 in the BCS standings but still boxed out by the Big 12 and Southeastern conferences.

Ohio State got from No. 7 to No. 1 last year, and Louisiana State rose from No. 7 to No. 2 on the last day, but this is a different day.

USC this week wants:

* Texas A&M; to upset Texas in Austin. The Aggies’ third straight win over the Longhorns would hand Texas a second loss and move USC up to at least No. 4.

Odds: Forget about it.

* Auburn to upset No. 1 Alabama in Tuscaloosa. Auburn has won six straight in the series, but the Tigers were never 5-6 entering any of those Iron bowls. And Alabama was never 11-0.

A seventh straight Auburn win probably eliminates Alabama even if the Crimson Tide rebounds to beat Florida in next week’s SEC title game.

Odds: Don’t count on it.

* Florida to lose at Florida State. USC’s dream scenario is for Bobby Bowden’s team to hand Urban Meyer’s team a second loss, with Florida rebounding to knock Alabama out next week.

Odds: It’s not impossible.

Of course, this opens the door for an all-Big 12 national title game (if Texas beats A&M;).

* Oklahoma to lose at Oklahoma State. This eliminates the Sooners and hands the Big 12 South title to Texas Tech. But it still could leave Texas at home and in the mix at 11-1.

USC would then want Missouri to beat Texas Tech, but that still leaves a possible Texas vs. Alabama or Florida title game.

Another bad scenario: Texas Tech, currently No. 7 in the BCS, beats Missouri to win the Big 12 and jumps back over the Trojans.

Odds: It could happen.

See why USC seems so close, but is yet so far?

Here’s one sure-bet way USC can get to No. 1 in the BCS by Sunday.

Florida State beats Florida, Alabama loses to Auburn, Oklahoma State beats Oklahoma, Texas loses to A&M;, Baylor shocks Texas Tech in Lubbock.

BCS title game -- USC vs. Utah.

Fallout: Penn State files a lawsuit.

Congress forms the House BCS Un-American Activities Committee.

Blitz package

* USC’s weekend weather report: reign. Notre Dame fired Tyrone Willingham on Nov. 30, 2004, three days after losing to the Trojans at the Coliseum, 41-10. Willingham left with a 6-5 record that year and was 21-15 overall in three seasons. “From Sunday through Friday, our football program has exceeded all expectations, in every way,” Notre Dame Athletic Director Kevin White said at the time. “But on Saturday, we’ve struggled.”

Four Novembers later, Notre Dame still struggles on Saturdays. Kevin White is now the AD at Duke. Notre Dame’s record this season entering the weekend: 6-5. Charlie Weis, 28-20 in his fourth year as Irish coach, is coming off a home loss to Syracuse. USC defeated Notre Dame last year, 38-0.

News conference next Tuesday?

* Sixty-four schools are now bowl eligible to fill 68 spots. Fourteen schools have five wins and at least one game remaining. Hawaii is 6-5 with two games left but needs seven victories to qualify because the Warriors play a 13-game schedule.

* Notre Dame’s bowl destination if it loses to USC and finishes 6-6 is complicated. The Sun Bowl would love the Irish to pair against the Pac-10’s No. 3 team, maybe Oregon, but there’s a scenario in which the El Paso bowl would have to take a Big East team that finishes 7-5. That scenario involves Rutgers defeating Louisville this weekend. The Sun Bowl erroneously reported this week it had 6-6 Notre Dame locked up for its Dec. 31 game. Notre Dame gets to the Sun Bowl only if the Irish lose to USC and Rutgers loses to Louisville.

* The 2006 Emerald Bowl was not particularly memorable, especially for UCLA fans who suffered through a 44-27 defeat to a not-so-great Florida State team. But little did we know at the time that the game would feature two future Rhodes scholars, one from each team. Former UCLA offensive lineman Chris Joseph and Florida State defensive back Myron Rolle, who played in the game, were recently awarded the prestigious award.

* Big 12 Commissioner Dan Beebe could be facing a huge controversy if a three-way tie in his league’s South Division forces the use of the BCS standings to break the tie. But Beebe is still against a playoff. The Big 12 was thought to be the “open-minded” conference last spring when the SEC proposed its “Plus One” model to commissioners in South Florida. The Big 12 ended all doubt about the plan when it strongly opposed the SEC model.

Beebe said his biggest fear of a playoff is, “we would be sitting here 10 years from now talking about why we did that and the effect it had on the regular season. The NFL has 37% of its clubs eligible for postseason. That keeps a high level of interest all through the regular season for a lot of teams. If 37% of the 120 Division clubs were eligible for a playoff, we’d have to have a 42-team playoff.”

* Seven of the 61 panelists on this year’s USA Today coaches’ poll are from the Big 12. Those coaches may have to decide the fate of the Big 12 South champion as part of the BCS standings formula. Oklahoma Coach Bob Stoops can’t help his own cause because he’s not a voter. And neither this year is his brother Mike, the coach at Arizona.

Bob Stoops said keeping favoritism out of the poll is difficult. “You know, it’s always interesting, because it’s our life,” he said. “It is what we do, so it’s hard not to have those kinds of biases and your own agendas, but, again, you just have to deal with it.”

Mike Stoops said he always tried to do “due diligence” when he was a voter. “Some coaches have motives for what they do,” Mike said. “I tried to be as fair as I could to all teams, but obviously I have a personal attachment to Oklahoma.”

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chris.dufresne@latimes.com