Consider it a remote access guide

All right, then, so where were we?

As veteran readers of The Times’ Sports section know, this column is a comeback, not a debut. It is a return from a sabbatical of sorts, reclamation of old territory held from late 2000 through early 2006. “Sound and Vision” and its author are back; you might have read about the format change in these pages.

Newcomers to this column might want in on the ground rules, so for them, here they are: “Sound and Vision” began and existed as a separate and distinctly different sports-media coverage component to Larry Stewart’s TV-Radio column. Larry covered news within the industry, and I provided commentary on sports-media trends and performance.

Larry has moved to the horse-racing beat, and this column is back -- with perhaps some change in its sound but none in its vision. Sports-media industry news will be covered elsewhere in this section. I will continue to critique it. And with this specific Friday space, I will attempt to answer a question that often arrives with the Friday Sports section: I see all these weekend TV listings -- now what do I do with them?

This, then, will be a consumer’s guide to help sort out what to watch, what to avoid, and what to watch with the television volume muted and the radio feed pumped up. Dodgers fans know the drill.

For those fans, here’s an opening tip: Depending about how you feel about Grady Little and Nomar Garciaparra and a season that cratered as soon as the All-Star game broke up, you might avoid watching Angels action of any kind this weekend.

It’s that time of year again. Mike Scioscia is back with another intensely scripted edition of “How the Dodgers Blew It” -- on the verge of watching his Angels -- 2002 World Series champions and 2005 American League runners-up -- clinch the 2007 AL West title.

It could happen any day now, as the second-place Seattle Mariners are in town for the ceremonial handing over of the sword.

The Angels clinched a tie for the championship with Thursday’s victory over Seattle, and can win the title either tonight (FSN West, 7 p.m.), Saturday (Channel 11, 12:45 p.m.) or Sunday (Channel 13, 12:30 p.m.)

If and when the Mariners run out of games and time, Dodgers fans brave enough to watch will probably notice a strange ritual in the Angels clubhouse, with happy players and coaches pouring a bubbly liquid over their heads. That is champagne. It is a rather expensive beverage, carefully reserved and then gratuitously wasted in the celebration of athletic achievement. You will not find champagne at any Dodger Stadium concession stand. Nor in the Dodgers clubhouse, for that matter.

One other thing: You will also probably notice a different tone in the conversation that occurs during the Angels’ postgame radio program.

Funny, but you never hear anybody complain about the Angels’ postgame show being too “negative.”

Also airing this weekend:

Saturday

Women’s World Cup: U.S. versus England (ESPN2, 4:45 a.m.): You’ll have to get up awfully early to see the U.S. beat England in soccer -- that’s what they’ve said for decades about the men’s version of this marquee matchup. You still have to get up early, or make the VCR/Tivo do the work for you, but it’s a different game in the Women’s World Cup. The Americans are favored, and after a 2-0-1 go-round in group play, they are due for a breakout performance.

South Carolina at LSU (Channel 2, 12:30 p.m.): Both teams are 3-0 and ranked in the Top Dozen, and USC fans get a chance to do some early scouting in preparation for the BCS title game. Les Miles will be on one sideline, Steve Spurrier on the other. This matchup doesn’t need announcers -- put the microphones on the coaches.

Washington State at USC (Channel 7, 5 p.m.): ABC gets another ride on the Trojans horse that last week brought the network some of its best Saturday-night ratings since last Christmas. The telecast for USC’s 49-31 victory at Nebraska averaged more than 7.4 million viewers and brought ABC its highest ratings among viewers 18-34 (2.3), 18-49 (2.6) and 25-54 (3.0) since last Dec. 23. . . . It’s unlikely the Trojans, favored by 25 points, will pull in similar numbers this time. The Inevitable Blowout Factor will probably drive some viewers to more competitive and compelling games, such as SMU at TCU on CSTV. TCU is favored by only 21.

Washington at UCLA (FSN Prime Ticket, 7:15 p.m.): Not sure yet if this can be considered a “competitive and compelling” game. FSN has announced it will televise this game in HD. Last Saturday for the Bruins, that stood for Humongous Defeat.

Sunday

San Diego Chargers at Green Bay Packers (Channel 2, 10 a.m.): Dan Marino interviews Brett Favre as part of “The NFL Today” pregame show. Favre needs four more touchdown passes to break Marino’s career record of 420. Outtake we’re hoping for: Marino: “You also need three interceptions to break George Blanda’s career record of 277. Tell us a little about that, Brett.”

Dallas Cowboys at Chicago Bears (Channel 4, 5 p.m.): Rex Grossman adds a new shade of meaning to the John Madden Glossary. “Ooh! Another awful pass by Grossman! That was a wounded turducken.”

--

christine.daniels@latimes.com