Royal Wedding Round-Up: Royal condoms, royal ghosts and the bouquet disappointment


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William and Kate toilet seat covers! William and Kate condoms! What is this wedding coming to? And now to add to the indignity, there’s rain in the forecast.

Today our trolling through the desperate reportage on this wedding includes a list of ghosts the couple might meet on their wedding day and speculation on whether or not Kate will toss her bouquet; but first, a word about those condoms -- Booth Moore mentioned them in her recent round-up of wedding gewgaws but we’ve since found out more.


Item 1: Crown Jewels: Condoms of distinction: Nothing says romance like a special collector’s edition of condoms with a picture of Prince William and Catherine Middleton on the box. Although the company’s website promises “a royal union of pleasure” the small print warns that the condoms are a novelty item and -- here’s the news -- not actually suitable for contraception or protection against STDs.

Item 2: Wedding ghosts? The Morton Report, a new website by celebrity biographer Andrew Morton, just launched with an all-royal-wedding line-up. There was a disappointing story about Kate and Will’s favorite music (it turned out the writer didn’t really know), and a look at the wedding “ghost” list (get it?), which was a look at the ghosts the couple might encounter along their wedding route. According to writer James Clark, they need to be especially wary of the ghost of an angry beheaded valet in St. James Place. Boo!

Item 3: The non-bouquet toss. To toss or not to toss? It was probably never a question. Following the royal tradition started in 1923 by the Queen Mother,Kate will leave her bouquet at Westminster Abbey’s grave of the Unknown Warrior.

-- Deborah Netburn


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