NONFICTION - Oct. 25, 1992

THE MALE PARADOX by John Munder Ross (Simon & Schuster: $23; 350 pp.). Noting that the raft of books involving forests, fairy tales, myths and rituals hasn’t helped the new, sensitive Mr. Mom feel any more fulfilled or secure than the old Marlboro Man, the author--a psychologist who teaches at Cornell, Columbia and New York universities--promises no such forays in these pages. Instead, he focuses on nitty-gritty questions such as how a woman can “get herself and then a man to look into his own heart.” “Hers is by no means an easy job,” Ross writes, for most men spend a good part of their lives repressing the three chief components of their inner character: “child, woman, and beast.” Afraid of “becoming” any one of these, Ross contends, “a man remains perpetually on his guard.” Ross’ analytical explanations of homosexuality surely will offend the biological determinists, but “The Male Paradox” provides an invaluable service by taking Robert Bly’s argument that men are torn by competing identities and advancing it with the suggestion that the conflict may be better resolved on the couch than in the forest.