Two Cruises on Two Small- But Very Different Ships Sailing Historic Western Waterways

The first thing we hear is the tootling.

As we make our way to the banks of the Willamette River, we see the impressive Queen of the West, a gleaming white, 230-foot-long, four-deck riverboat with an enormous fire-engine red paddle wheel at its stern.

But it’s the syncopated sounds emanating from the bunting-draped upper deck that capture our attention. We try to act like dignified vacationers, but the circus-sounding music is having an effect. My mother, sister and I, traveling together for the first time in 15 years, are giddy with excitement as we board.

The music accompanies us to our stateroom. We hurriedly check out our triple-occupancy cabin--the beautiful cherrywood furnishings, the gilded mirrors, the wall-mounted TV and stereo, the veranda--then we’re out the door, determined to find the source of the tootling, toute de suite.

On the top deck we discover the Calliope Bar & Grill--and the solution to the musical mystery. In one corner is a handsome multi-piped instrument that looks like an organ but, as keyboardist Matt Neill tells us, is a steam-powered calliope.

Neill strikes up a jaunty toots-and-whistle tune. “It’s so corny,” says my sister, Chris, a hard-boiled street cop. “But you can’t help but feel happy.”

Chris and I had planned this five-day river trip in June for our Mom’s 75th birthday. We wanted to do something easy for her and enjoyable for all of us. As soon as Neill begins tootling out “Bicycle Built for Two,” we know we have made the right decision. The old-fashioned music is perfect for an excursion on this turn-of-the-century-style passenger vessel.

It’s soon apparent that we’re not the first family to have this idea. Around us are several other multi-generational clusters. The 163-passenger riverboat seems to be a magnet for families.

“I took the cruise with my family and my 82-year-old grandfather,” says our steward, 21-year-old Justin MacDonald of Mesa, Ariz., who is dressed up like James Garner in his “Maverick” days. “We had such a blast that I signed on for five months.”

Over the next five days we will travel 400 miles up and down the Columbia, the mighty Pacific Northwest waterway that forms part of the Oregon-Washington border before emptying into the Pacific.

The Columbia forced its way through the Cascade mountain range a million or so years ago, carving a devastatingly beautiful gorge that is the backdrop for much of our cruise. We’ll pass lush forests and rolling hills, rugged basalt and granite cliffs streaked with waterfalls. We’ll meander over mile-wide expanses of placid water, through narrow channels lined with houseboats, and maneuver past the Bonneville Dam on the river’s extensive system of locks. Sometimes we’ll pass daring windsurfers caroming in choppy waters, other times we’ll see small pleasure boats filled with Northwesterners marveling at the same spectacular sights. All this before returning to Portland.

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We set sail just before dusk, heading north on the Willamette to the Columbia. The Queen of the West, though launched in August 1995, would not have looked out of place in 1870, when the river was filled with such paddle wheelers. As she slowly churns past Portland and wooded embankments dotted with beautiful homes, the calliope broadcasts our passing. More than a few riverfront residents seem to be expecting us, waving as we pass.

Sitting in white-glove-clean rocking chairs on the viewing deck, we marvel at how the late afternoon sun burnishes Portland and the surrounding woods. Mom is the first to spot a bald eagle swooping in front of the boat to grab a fish.

“Oh, this is really God’s country,” she says, turning to a woman seated next to her who appears to be about her age. “I’m from Southern California and you just don’t see things like that.”

Before long, Mom and her newfound friend are chatting up a storm. At one point, Chris and I hear her say with a giggle, “You know, I’m 75, but I sure don’t feel it.”

The ship’s designers built a glass-walled aft lounge on the second deck that is eye level with the big red paddle wheel, providing a good excuse to sit and gawk at a feat of 19th century engineering. But the Queen of the West, says Captain Robert Wengel, is strictly state-of-the-art. The paddle wheel is driven by an intricate hydraulic system powered by two 1,500-horsepower diesel engines. In the pilot house, the captain uses high-tech digital instruments to continuously calculate the river’s depth and track other boats.

The Queen of the West is the second biggest paddle wheeler in the U.S., next to the Delta Queen Steamboat Co.’s 438-foot American Queen, which plies the Mississippi.

But it’s not fair to call her a riverboat. She is a small ship. Big enough for a passenger to find a quiet, uninhabited corner on any of three lounges or the upper viewing deck.

Eventually the calliope stops, and the first of many history lessons begins. Over the PA system, ship historian Mike White tells us that the last overnight paddle wheeler to cruise these waters was the Bailey Gatzert, which ended service in 1916. He also talks about Lewis and Clark’s arrival here in the early 1800s. Over the next few days, White, a former radio journalist whose voice makes listening easy, talks a lot about Lewis and Clark, the mighty Columbia and the people who first inhabited the region.

White’s narrations set the tone of the cruise. This is not a party-till-you-drop, 24-hour-buffet-binge voyage. The Queen’s passengers are here to experience a bit of history, indulge in great cuisine and marvel at the natural splendors of the Pacific Northwest. Which may explain why there are few children and only a handful of teenagers aboard.

One advantage of a small ship is that, by voyage’s end, you probably will meet, or at least exchange smiles with, everyone on board. The open-seating dining room means that we will share a table with at least two others at every meal (there’s only one seating). But at times it is hard to focus on conversation. A continuous moving picture of forested riverbanks and mountains plays across the dining room windows.

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The cozy, well-appointed dining room has a gay ‘90s (that’s 1890s) feel, complete with luxurious green velvet curtains, crystal chandeliers and a gilded ceiling. Even before embarking on our Queen, we know that among the highlights will be sumptuous meals of regional specialties and local produce.

Dinner the first night lives up to its billing: coastal clam chowder, local spring greens with homemade ranch dressing, Oregon coast king salmon served with delicate sauteed fiddlehead fern and rice pilaf, followed by chocolate torte covered with chopped Oregon walnuts. The wine list features a variety of Oregon and Washington wines.

We decide to turn in early and skip the after-dinner show in the Columbia Lounge (a Dixieland jazz band). Room-sharing is going to be entertainment enough. The three of us--all single--haven’t lived together in years, and while the room is large by most cruise ship standards, we have some adjusting to do. It isn’t possible for two of us to pass each other between the beds, and one of us--me--has to sleep in a fold-down bunk.

We discover that you can get cable on a riverboat (each stateroom has a TV). So we watch a Bette Davis movie before falling to sleep to the gentle swishing of the turning paddle wheel.

A few hours later, those blissful sounds are interrupted by a loud grinding screech and the sensation of the ship slowing to a crawl. Out the window there is a wall of concrete practically touching the railing of the veranda. I knew that at some time we would be raised 60 feet in the Cascade locks to get us over the Bonneville Dam, but I didn’t realize it would be at 3 a.m.!

At daybreak, we are safely through the locks and have arrived at Hood River, Ore. Breakfast aromas are penetrating the cabin and a full day of sightseeing is ahead. After breakfast, we bus to the Mount Hood Railroad Depot, a beautiful Craftsman structure built in 1911 and refurbished in the late 1980s.

The railroad originally served as a combination passenger and freight service, carrying fruit and lumber from the Hood River Valley. The rail line winds through the lush valley to the foothills of perennially snowcapped Mount Hood--the state’s tallest peak. During the 22-mile trip, we chug past rows of orchards (pear, cherry and apple), quaint turn-of-the-century towns, aging lumber mills and fruit-processing plants.

The end of the line is the little town of Parkdale, elevation 1,700 feet. We have just enough time to traverse its tiny Main Street and browse a country store that sells jams and preserves made from local huckleberries, marionberries and cherries.

We return to the riverboat in time for lunch. The menu seems OK, but Chris and I decide to check out the Calliope Lounge, where there is a help-yourself chili and hot dog bar. The homemade chili is among the best I have ever tasted. With bulging chili dogs in hand, we head back to the fancy dining room and find Mom sitting with Patricia and Jan, two travel agents from the Napa Valley. While they eat their boring salads and sandwiches, we relish our dogs and reluctantly share.

The Queen has turned around, and by the end of lunch we are docked downriver in Stevenson, Wash. We hop on the bus again, this time for a tour of the Columbia River Gorge. Forged by earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and floods eons ago, the craggy, pine-covered gorge has a mighty river running through it. The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers harnessed the river’s might with the Bonneville Dam, an immense engineering project that produces 1 million kilowatts of power.

To get to the dam, we must cross the Bridge of the Gods, which connects Washington and Oregon. The dam, too, acts as a bridge between Washington and Oregon. The 97-acre Bonneville Dam and lock complex was completed in 1937 and upgraded in the 1980s.

We travel on the Columbia River Scenic Highway adjacent to the river to one of the most popular tourist sights in Oregon, the 620-foot Multnomah Falls, a narrow ribbon of water that spills from the gorge’s wall.

After a day of viewing immense attractions, we have immense appetites. Back on board, we enjoy a dinner of Waldorf salad, Tilamook cheddar soup, rack of lamb rubbed with mustard, all topped off with Mt. Hood poached pears in cinnamon sauce.

Later, while having a nightcap in the Paddlewheel Lounge, Chris and I discover a Scrabble board, a Monopoly game and a chess board. Though we haven’t played games together in years, we can’t resist. We play into the night and again the following day and evening. It all seems so corny, but this trip is making us big fans of corn.

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The next morning the Queen cruises through the Multnomah Channel, a narrow waterway adjacent to the Columbia. Few boats are allowed here, but because the Queen is a shallow-draft vessel that leaves virtually no wake, passengers are treated to close-up views of the hundreds of architecturally unique houseboats that line the passage.

We dock at Longview, Wash., from where we travel 90 minutes by bus to Mount St. Helens National Volcanic Monument. Before the mountain even comes into the view, the destruction wrought by its violent belch on May 18, 1980, is visible. There are felled trees sprinkled about a barren moonscape covering several square miles. Once a near-perfect cone, the 8,300-foot mountain (it was 9,600-feet high before the eruption), now has a big pockmark on its northern face.

Dinner that night is roast duck with Gran Marnier and dessert of chocolate seashell cups filled with Amaretto mousse.

The next and last day, we reach the Pacific, and the Oregon town of Astoria, with its dozens of historic Victorian homes. Founded in 1811, it was the first American settlement on the Pacific Coast. We also travel by bus to Fort Clatsop, the site where Lewis and Clark camped during the winter of 1805-06 after reaching the end of their trailblazing expedition.

Our final dinner is a gala banquet hosted by Capt. Wengel, which begins with free cocktails and a trio singing tunes from the ‘40s and ‘50s. We couldn’t have planned it better, since this was Mom’s birthday night of honor.

The farewell dinner is extra-special: Caesar salad, onion soup made with Walla Walla onions, filet mignon and lobster, and chocolate-covered puff pastry swans. We also splurge a bit and order two bottles of a 1994 Merlot from KnudsenErath winery in Washington State.

The ship’s cruise director makes a production out of the many anniversaries and birthdays celebrated this evening. We happily join in singing “Happy Birthday” or “Happy Anniversary” a dozen times. It’s corny. But all the moms and dads cruising with their families on this special boat of simple, old-fashioned pleasures are beaming.

When the director gets to Mom, she grabs his microphone and proudly announces to all: “I’m 75, but I sure don’t feel it. I’m having a wonderful time.”

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GUIDEBOOK

Hail Columbia

The Queen of the West: Operated by Seattle-based American West Steamboat Co. Capacity: 163. Four levels of double-occupancy rooms, most include verandas. Limited number of triple- and quadruple-occupancy rooms. The company has plans to build a second paddle boat (a side-wheeler) for cruising Puget Sound.

Itineraries: Three-, four-, five- and seven-night cruises on the Columbia; each begins and ends in Portland. Seven-night cruise travels to Lewiston, Idaho, to the Snake River. Departures throughout the year, except late January to early February.

Costs: Prices vary, depending on the time of year and accommodations. The three-night cruise ranges from $439 to $1,714; the four-night ranges from $589 to $2,279; the five-night ranges from $719 to $2,829; the seven-night ranges from $945 to $3,945. All rates are per-person based on double occupancy. Rates include all shore excursions. Air fare not included.

For further information: The American West Steamboat Co., Two Union Square, 601 Union St., Seattle, WA 98101; telephone (800) 434-1232. The Portland Oregon Visitor Assn., 3 World Trade Center, 26 SW Salmon St., Portland, OR 97204-3299; tel. (503) 222-2223.