Where Would We Be Without the Lakers?

Hubert Mizell in the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times on the Lakers restoring championship pride to the city:

“No longer is it Lost Angeles, megalopolis of shortfalling athletics, where the NFL no longer exists, Dodgers don’t rule anymore, Angels never did, Kings and Ducks are also-ran pucks, UCLA/USC have fallen from ultimate sports greatness and Clippers still can’t find a way to not be Clippers.

” . . . Then came a trendy Monday, when Lakers won again for Jack Nicholson and Dyan Cannon, triggering Merlot toasts in Century City, allowing Coach Zen NBA rings not only for both thumbs, but both pinkies, leaving him a couple of cigars short of Red Auerbach.”

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Trivia time: Who has rushed for the most yards in a Monday night NFL game?

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Ripping Vecsey: Bill Benner of the Indianapolis Star says the confusion about whether Isiah Thomas will or won’t be the next coach of the Pacers stems from Peter Vecsey and the NBC TV crew, including Thomas, “using their peacock pulpit to pass along information in hopes it becomes true.

“Which, come to think of it, is how Vecsey makes his living. Throw enough manure out there, and hopefully some of it will stick to the barn.

“That is, when he isn’t shepherding his young son through locker rooms in search of autographs.”

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Bigger and better? Bill Lyon in the Philadelphia Inquirer: “Whatever it is they’re playing in the major leagues these days, it isn’t baseball. It’s a gussied-up version of Home Run Derby. Chuck and duck.

” . . . Slowly but steadily, baseball is being inhaled by our all-or-nothing culture.

“We like big. We like huge. We like humongous. So of course we like the Big Boppers. We like eight-run innings, nine run rallies and 18-14 finals.”

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Classic Kiner-isms: It has been awhile since we visited Ralph Kiner, the king of the malaprop. Some Kiner classics:

* On Riverfront Stadium in Cincinnati: “Baseball began right here in this stadium in 1869.”

* “And on this Father’s Day, we again wish you all a happy birthday.”

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Guiding light: Tiger Woods, on the orange shirt his playing partner, Jesper Parnevik, wore in the first round of the U.S. Open at Pebble Beach:

“You could see him in the fog, that’s for sure. He was our beacon, so no one could hit into us.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1988, Baltimore Oriole shortstop Cal Ripken stretched his ironman streak to 1,000 games in a 10-3 loss to Boston.

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Trivia answer: Bo Jackson of the L.A. Raiders, 221 yards against Seattle on Nov. 30, 1987.

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And finally: Woody Paige in the Denver Post on ABC’s “Monday Night Football” hirings:

“Why didn’t the network copy ‘Survivor’ and start out with 16 guest commentators and have the viewers eliminate one each week?”