People in Detroit Were Wondering the Same Thing

Woody Paige of the Denver Post, impishly commenting on the Kings before the start of the series with the Colorado Avalanche:

“Who are the Los Angeles Kings? The Avalanche might as well be meeting the Hollywood Vines. . . . There’s no hatred, no hostility, no history between the Avalanche and the Kings. . . .

“Who can despise someone named Ziggy Palffy? He was the kid in biology who didn’t have the stomach to dissect his frog. . . .

“In Los Angeles, the Kings’ popularity ranks below the Lakers, the Dodgers, Fatburgers and O.J. Simpson-bashing, and above the Clippers, the XFL championship team, American-made cars and Drew Barrymore sightings.”

*

Trivia time: Who holds the major league record for runs batted in by a rookie?

*

All that you can be? The U.S. Army was happy to be one of the XFL’s main TV sponsors.

“The Army signed up hundreds of potential recruits at stadiums,” reported the Wall Street Journal.

Said Paul Giles of Humormall.com, “Well, mostly they signed up XFL players. They found out they’d get paid more in the Army.”

*

She’s found her niche: Former Reds’ owner Marge Schott was standing behind the buffet counter in the media dining room before Sunday’s game in Cincinnati, according to the Cincinnati Post, when a member of the Japanese media following New York Met outfielder Tsuyoshi Shinjo said to her, “Excuse me, but there are no plates out.”

*

Elbow room: Charlotte Hornet forward P.J. Brown, who played four years with the Miami Heat, commenting on his former teammates: “I can be friends with guys and pray with guys. But out there on the court, it’s a war.

“We’re friends, but when we get out there on the court, I’m going to throw some elbows at your kidneys and we’re going to battle.”

*

More Hornets: The players wore black headbands in their first two victories against the Heat in Miami and now everyone is afraid to take them off. The series shifts tonight to Charlotte, where the Hornets will wear white uniforms.

In keeping with their superstitious styling, Hornet equipment managers have been collecting matching white headbands for the team to wear. You might say the team is literally banding together.

*

Trivia answer: Ted Williams of the Boston Red Sox, 145 in 1939.

*

And finally: Mark Purdy of the San Jose Mercury News, commenting on former San Jose State and Stanford football coach Jack Elway, who died recently:

“Jack usually deflected his disappointment with humor. Once, after UCLA had thumped Stanford by 25 points, a sympathetic media member suggested that the Cardinal had played better than the score indicated.

“ ‘Actually,’ said Jack, ‘I thought UCLA played better than the score indicated.’ ”