It Won’t Be Long Until These Guys Bolt for L.A.

I can confirm now it is only a matter of time before one of the worst organizations in sports becomes officially known as the Los Angeles Chargers.

And here’s an encouraging thought: The last time we got a team from San Diego, it was the Clippers.

I came here Friday hoping to learn the Chargers were going nowhere, you know, much like they perform on offense, but now I have no doubt they are headed our way in a couple of years.

I’ve known team President Dean Spanos and General Manager John Butler for more than 15 years, and although we were in the same building Friday, a team spokesman said both men went into hiding to avoid being interviewed, a clear signal they’re readying themselves to come to L.A. and deal with me like most every other management team there.

Later I went to the Raider hotel, had dinner with GM Bruce Allen--he picked up the check so Al Davis could pay, and then I had a nice heart-to-heart chat with Coach Jon Gruden because the Raiders understand now they won’t be coming to L.A., and they welcome visitors--knowing they are now imprisoned in Oakland.

On Saturday I spotted Spanos and Butler crammed into a tiny cubicle off the Charger locker room, both of them staring at each other when they noticed me coming toward the door--each one wondering if they should be the first to dive for cover under a bench. I’ve gotten the same reaction from many of the Dodgers, and frankly it’s not a pretty sight when grown men start shaking like that.

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THE CHARGERS were very unhappy last week when The Times revealed a plan that will probably result in the team moving training camp facilities to Cal State Dominguez Hills in the summer of 2003 with the implied threat the franchise will then take advantage of an escape clause in its Qualcomm Stadium lease after the 2003 season and make the permanent move to L.A.

In fact, a Charger executive called several L.A. officials, who have already had conversations with our new crummy team, and demanded they stop talking to The Times. L.A. officials, told not to talk, called to talk about that.

I know Spanos has chatted with USC’s Mike Garrett in the past, so I won’t be surprised to learn Garrett is working as media advisor to the L.A.-bound Chargers. Based on results in trying to get a new sports arena built on campus, I hope he’s not being asked for his counsel in building a new football stadium in L.A.

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NOW WHAT will our new team be like? Well, it won’t be very good, because that’s sort of a Spanos trademark. In the 18 years under Alex Spanos’ ownership, the Chargers have had four winning seasons--one of those because of a strike.

The Bengals and the Chargers are the only two NFL teams that have failed to have a winning record since 1996. There are some people who swear now a Ducks’ contest is more exciting than a Charger game. I don’t plan on finding out, though.

When our crummy team begins play in a new Coliseum, you’ll probably wish for the return of Jim Everett. Under Spanos, the Chargers prefer quarterbacks who are terrible. If Mike Trombley, for example, was a quarterback instead of a pitcher for the Dodgers, he’d be playing for the Chargers, who have gone through Mark Malone, Craig Whelihan and Ryan Leaf. Doug Flutie was considered an upgrade and everyone looks down on him.

When the Chargers come to L.A., unfortunately they won’t be bringing Coach Mike Riley with them. He’s expected to be fired soon because the team has a new GM in Butler, and Butler is always angry and Riley is always smiling and that makes Butler more angry.

If the University of Indiana doesn’t hire a coach soon, Riley could go there, although those who know Riley believe he’ll remain in San Diego next year for his son’s senior year of high school, and then work for Nevada Las Vegas Athletic Director John Robinson--taking Robinson’s place as football coach.

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I WENT to the Charger locker room Friday and asked Junior Seau if he had an idea where he might be living in L.A. when the team moves there, and he began yelling, “Code Red, Code Red,” which apparently means there’s a Times reporter in the locker room and he’s asking about the secret plans to move to L.A. after 2003.

The Chargers are going to leave San Diego because Alex Spanos wants a new stadium, and when he doesn’t get what he wants, he throws a fit. I covered the Chargers on a daily basis for six or seven years, and when he didn’t like one of my questions, he took pieces of Good ‘N Plenty from a jar on his desk and threw them at me. Fortunately, like most of his quarterbacks, he didn’t have much of an arm.

An NFL official, who has had talks with Dean Spanos, said Spanos is very concerned about prematurely sounding the move alarm. The NFL has the same concern, because the Super Bowl will be here in 2003, and the support and enthusiasm of San Diego citizens are essential to staging such an event.

So right now the Chargers don’t want their name mentioned in the same sentence as L.A., but as far as I’m concerned they’re already acting like the Los Angeles Chargers, which no longer makes Donald Sterling and the Clippers the worst owner and worst franchise to be associated with the city of Los Angeles.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in an e-mail from Greg:

“I understand from reading Larry Stewart’s column, Paul Lo Duca blew your cover by revealing you probably played the flute in the high school band.”

I’ve got one word for Lo Duca: “Accordion.”

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.