LAUGH LINES

Take a Load Off: “Doctors say they’re seeing more and more back injuries among schoolkids who carry backpacks. . . . Apparently, the weight of the books, guns and dope is too much for most kids to haul around all day.” (Ira Lawson)

Think About It: “Mike Tyson was offered terms by heavyweight champion Lennox Lewis for a title bout in July. The time is right for Tyson. With all the interest in this ‘Hannibal’ thing, he could make $100 million on Pay-Per-Chew.” (Argus Hamilton)

Keeping Count: “Regarding the new Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition: Naturally, purists are poring over the magazine for scores and important stats--like 36, 24, 36.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

*

Chris Pina’s Essential Daily List

Top Things Overheard at the Grammys

* “Clinton is nuts. He just tried to steal the show.”

* “It’s not a handkerchief, it’s Toni Braxton’s wardrobe.”

* “There’s Jesse Jackson arriving with his own ‘Destiny’s Child.’ ”

* “Hi. I’m Bill Clinton and I’m here to see some Barenaked Ladies.”

*

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.