Glorification of the Dream Series That Became a Nightmare

Was it really only seven days ago that NBC’s Marv Albert, moments before the Lakers and the Spurs tipped off Game 1 of the Western Conference finals, declared San Antonio’s Tim Duncan and David Robinson to be “the best big man combination in the history of the NBA”?

Yes! And can we have a recount?

Superlatives have been flying around like shrapnel during this matchup of, ahem, you know, the Two Behemoths of the NBA. Kobe Bryant, we have heard, is Playing Better Than Michael Jordan Did At 22. Shaquille O’Neal has been a Superman On A Mission. Derek Fisher, who used to be a useful little player known for his skinned kneecaps and occasional assists, is now The Headband That Flicked The Lakers’ Ignition Switch.

Of course, with the Lakers, now undefeated in their last 18 games and 10-0 in the playoffs, this is understandable. No team has ever rolled through a 15-game NBA postseason undefeated, but now the Lakers are within earshot, so the chorus of hyperbole is predictable.

But it can be a dangerous ammunition, boomeranging on a broadcaster faster than San Antonio ran up the white flag in this series. Duncan and Robinson, the best big-man combination ever? This news, no doubt, must have come as quite a surprise to Robert Parish and Kevin McHale, Bill Walton and Maurice Lucas and Hakeem Olajuwon and Ralph Sampson, just to throw out a few names for starters. Wilt Chamberlain and Nate Thurmond once played together with the San Francisco Warriors. You think they’d allow themselves to be seen in public anywhere near the Spurs’ current predicament--0-3, blown out of Game 3 by 39 points, knocked flat on their asterisks?

“It has reached the point of embarrassment for the San Antonio Spurs,” Albert announced near the end of Friday night’s 111-72 Laker triumph, which qualifies as the Biggest Understatement of This Series.

After losing Game 2 by seven points, Spur Coach Gregg Popovich said, “We stunk,” prompting Albert to wonder, “What will he say after Game 3?”

Until then, Albert and partner Doug Collins stepped into the breach.

“This is a stunner,” Albert said as he watched the Spurs flail about the Staples Center court during a hapless fourth quarter.

As Duncan retreated to the bench after a three-for-14, nine-point performance, Albert assessed, “Tim Duncan with one of the worst games of his NBA career. Certainly in a big game situation.”

Collins predicted Duncan wouldn’t be able to sleep until Game 4 on Sunday. “It’s going to be a long 36 hours,” he said.

In the meantime, we can all pass the time by seeing who can hang the most glittering adjectives around the necks of Bryant and O’Neal, now that those necks have escaped the mutual wringing expected of Kobe and Shaq two months earlier.

Collins got the ball rolling, calling Bryant “the most brilliant perimeter player” and O’Neal “the most dominant inside player” in the game today. Together, during this playoff run, Bryant and O’Neal have been “unbelievable,” and “unstoppable right now,” according to Collins.

But in the lane or in front of a microphone, no one was about to top O’Neal, who began touting Bryant as “my idol” and “the best player in the league,” after Game 1. With the Lakers leading by only 10 points in the first quarter Friday, Albert wondered if O’Neal was guilty of over-praising the Young Turk With Whom He Must Share The Basketball.

As it turns out, Shaq was only warming up.

After the Game 3 rout, in which O’Neal and Bryant combined for 71 points, or one fewer than the Spurs, O’Neal informed NBC’s Jim Gray that he’s now “playing with the best player in the world, in all worlds, and all nine planets.”

Still, even intergalactic superheroes have their moments of mortality, as evidenced when O’Neal came up limping after twisting his left ankle in the fourth quarter. Yet, with the Lakers leading by 28 points with 7:30 to play, O’Neal remained on the court, causing Albert and Collins to briefly question the infallibility of Laker Coach Phil Jackson.

Albert: “No question, [O’Neal] is hobbling . . . Wouldn’t you think that the Lakers would take a timeout to get Shaq out of there?”

Collins: “It’s interesting how long Phil is going to let him go with this . . . They are not giving the Spurs any daylight. It’s almost like, ‘We’re going to crush your spirit, so there will be no Sunday.’ ”

Only a day-and-a-half between Friday’s rout and Sunday’s over-and-out. That might seem an eternity to the deflated Spurs, but to those covering this series in search of the most super superlative, that’s barely enough time to crack open the thesaurus.