New Species of Fake Tree Takes Root to Improve Reception for Cell Phones
If Joyce Kilmer’s famous poem had been written in this era, I guess it would read: “I think that I shall never see / A poem lovely as a cell-phone tree.”
Stan Kelton of Huntington Beach noticed that a fake palm, which was really a cell tower, was being tended to (but not watered) by some workers in his neighborhood.
When he asked what they were doing, one explained: “We’re building a pine tree and tearing down the palm tree.” Why? To improve cell phone reception, not the view.
“You can get a lot more antennas in a pine tree than a palm tree,” the worker said. Hope they remembered to clean up all those metal fronds.
Movie tie-in? David Chan of L.A. figured the menu listing he saw was an effort to capitalize on the publicity surrounding “Seabiscuit” (see accompanying).
From PG-13 to X-Rated: One carwash’s ad prompted Lisa Clarrey of Chino Hills to say: “I wonder what’s been going on in this car?” (see accompanying).
Speaking of vices: A back-to-school-and-other-activities sign at the 49er Tavern caught the eye of Dick Barnes of Long Beach (see photo).
Despite what you may have heard ... : “You can take it with you, at least in La Puente,” declared Donald Bentley after observing some adjoining signs (see photo).
From my vacation diary: Crawling south on the 101 through Santa Barbara (which is Spanish for “Road Construction Ahead”), I grew so sleepy that I had to stop at a coffee shop in Ventura. Inside, I was dismayed to see that a sign on the unisex restroom said: “Sorry. Out of order -- the Management.” A woman in line for coffee asked what the problem was. “We’re out of toilet paper,” a 20ish clerk said casually.
Before I could scream that such a problem really didn’t require a plumber, the woman in line said, “Oh, I have my own.” She was permitted entry. Citing my gender, I was granted an exemption after her.
Nothing is surprising anymore: The police log of the Seal Beach Sun said “a caller reported that a man in his 40s with a beard and a hat was riding a bike along the pier and claiming he owned it.” Probably also claimed he’s running for governor.
miscelLAny: Loyola Bannon of Huntington Park figures that, after the failure of “Gigli,” actor Ben Affleck’s publicist must be in a dark mood despite his name: Ken Sunshine.
Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.
