The smart money’s on Stanford

As businesses all over the country brace for an epidemic of epidemic proportions Thursday (call it Vitale Virus), here is some first-round info:

* Stanford versus Cornell. Finally a game where Stanford fans won’t have to dumb down the smack talk.

* UCLA versus Mississippi Valley State. Both reek of tradition. The Wooden Award, named for the former Bruins coach, goes to college basketball’s best player. The Alphonso Ford Top Scorer Trophy, named for a former Mississippi Valley State player, goes to the leading scorer in the Euroleague.

* Coppin State comes into the tournament 16-20. The last 20-game loser to make it to the postseason? George Mullin (20-20) with the Detroit Tigers in 1907. His team didn’t win a game either.

* The only chance for St. Mary’s (Calif.) to play Mount St. Mary’s (Md.) is in the national title game. A Hail Mary that won’t happen, but expect Billy Packer to take the Maryland version if it does.

Trivia time

What is the only current Big West Conference school with a winning record in the NCAA tournament?

D.C. comic

Mount St. Mary’s Coach Milan Brown, noting that his university is only 45 miles from Coppin State, yet the two teams will meet in the play-in game today in Dayton, Ohio, joked that he was tempted to call Coppin State Coach Fang Mitchell and say, “Why don’t we just meet at the Verizon Center [in Washington, D.C.] and save on some travel?”

Forget the joke. Fang? Milan? Sounds more like James Bond villains than basketball coaches.

Costume brawl

The Big West may take a back seat to the Pacific 10 Conference in basketball (maybe even the trunk), but its mascots may be a match for anyone.

Tuffy the Titan (Cal State Fullerton) and Peter the Anteater (UC Irvine) both were ejected from the conference tournament championship game Saturday night after demonstrating improper conduct (yes, even for a mascot) after nearly coming to blows.

It seems Fullerton, which plays Wisconsin in the NCAA tournament Thursday, is well prepared if this becomes the Road Rage to the Final Four.

Making the grade

The top four schools in the NCAA tournament, according to U.S. News and World Report’s rankings of top universities: Stanford (ranked the fourth-best university), Duke (eighth), Cornell (12th) and Vanderbilt (tied for 19th).

UCLA was tied for 25th and USC was 27th. Fullerton? Sorry, the list stops at 125. As a consolation prize, the Titans may have the No. 1-ranked contender among mascots.

Coppin a plea

Follow . . .

Coppin State beat Morgan State. Morgan State beat American University. American beat Maryland. Maryland beat North Carolina.

So why isn’t Coppin State the top-seeded team in the tournament?

We shall (hiccup) overcome

Arise ye prisoners of sobriety.

John Boyle, chairman of the Motherwell soccer team in Scotland, seemed outraged at the continued oppression of (wait for it) . . .

. . . drunk soccer fans.

Speaking with The Journal, Boyle said the ban on alcohol at Scottish soccer matches -- enacted after riots during the Scottish Cup 28 years ago -- was “absurd,” adding, “this situation is absolutely ludicrous and football fans are discriminated against.”

Geez, next thing there will be a ban on stomping a chap for supporting the other team.

Trivia answer

Fullerton, which went 2-1 in 1978, its only visit to date. Enjoy it while it lasts, Titans.

And finally

Kenyon Martin of the Denver Nuggets, after a 168-116 victory over the Seattle SuperSonics on Sunday: “A lot of people are going to think it’s a misprint. A lot of people will think there’s no way they scored that many points. It’s unbelievable. There are no words for it.”

Two jump to mind: bad . . . team.

--

chris.foster@latimes.com