It’s gridlock at the top of college football rankings

We’re at a rankings standstill. Nobody budged in this week’s top 11. It’s as if everyone is standing at a bus stop waiting for November. There’s nothing anyone can do until Alabama, Louisiana State or Oklahoma loses. Wisconsin beating Indiana by 52 points last week earned the Badgers a big-deal No. 6 in the first Bowl Championship Series standings. Boise State is stripping gears at No. 5, and Stanford hasn’t lost in more than a year yet sits behind the No. 8 BCS ball. Only one bit of housekeeping: Washington enters the poll at No. 25 and Texas, once 4-0, drops out after dropping to 4-2.

1; Alabama 7-0; May have more NFL-ready players on defense than the Kansas City Chiefs. (1)

2; Louisiana State 7-0; Will break off with Alabama and join the STC (“Super Two” Conference). (2)

3; Oklahoma 6-0; School promises Broyles receptionist job if he doesn’t make it in NFL. (3)

4; Stanford 6-0; People here could tell you handshake agreements with Harbaugh led to broken fingers. (4)

5; Boise State 6-0; Visiting Air Force coach to team: “Off we go, into the wild blue yonder.” (5)

6; Wisconsin 6-0; Wilson’s Heisman campaign makes crucial whistle stop in swing-state Michigan State. (6)

7; Oklahoma State 6-0: Yippie Ki Yay! Cowboys No. 1 in BCS computer index with No. 100 defense. (7)

8; Clemson 7-0; Mystified onlookers still convinced Clemson will show up one of these weeks. (8)

9; Oregon 5-1; Kelly also yelled “Hey will you just shut up” this week to couple talking in movie theater. (9)

10; Arkansas 5-1; Wise-guy wonders what’s the difference going from idle one week to “at Mississippi”? (10)

11; West Virginia 5-1; Coach tells AD he won’t tank rest of season to get a shot at Andrew Luck. (11)

12; Nebraska 5-1; In Big 12 to Big Ten switch, Minnesota is Kansas with funny accents. (13)

13; Virginia Tech 6-1; Halftime show this week will feature songs from the great Hokie Carmichael. (14)

14; South Carolina 6-1; Injury to Lattimore might mean the Gamecocks will win a lot less. (16)

15; Kansas State 6-0; Warning: Danger on schedule ahead. Slippery when wet. Proceed with caution. (17)

16; Houston 6-0; Zero after your six also is chance you have of playing in BCS title game. (19)

17; Michigan State 5-1; Wants name change for great big body of water to “Lake Michigan State.” (24)

18; Georgia Tech 6-1; No shame in losing at Virginia except it never should have happened. (12)

19; Illinois 6-1; Rankman tried to warn you about that one pass Ohio State might complete. (15)

20; Texas A&M 4-2; Make sure to stop and smell the compost on trip this week to Ames, Iowa. (23)

21; Arizona State 5-2; KFC in Tempe has one-person lunch special named after Burfict: “personal fowl.” (20)

22; Michigan 6-1; Ann Arbor organizes women’s group: “Daughters of losing to Sparty.” (18)

23; USC 5-1; First after-dark game at Notre Dame believed to be brainchild of Knight Rockne. (22)

24; Auburn 5-2; NCAA closes case on Newton but is still making Tigers go to LSU. (25)

25; Washington 5-1; Jean-Paul Sark: “All that I know about my life, it seems, I have learned in playbooks.” (NR)

Dropped out: Texas (21).

Moved in: Washington.