"How do you feel about Canadian bacon boys?" - Sunny, 41.
After spending 24 hours on Sizzl, Oscar Mayer's new bacon dating app, we came across Sunny. According to his profile, he likes "Star Wars," bacon, Netflix and to chill. If you make him laugh, he'll make you a BLT. He's also "wearing nothing but a smile and a strategically placed CDN flag."
Given the choice between turkey and pork bacon, he chose pork. Crispy or chewy? Definitely crispy. And if you and Sunny were on a date, and there was one piece of bacon left on the table, he would split it with you.
Sound like a catch?
The meat company is using a dater's preference for bacon to measure compatibility. And that's it. There are no questions about politics, if or when you want kids, or how you feel about the institution of marriage. Instead, you let other daters on the app know if you like turkey or pork bacon, how crispy you like your bacon, and if you're a bacon splitter, taker or giver.
From this set of questions, you're supposed to find your bacon soul mate. After discovering FarmersOnly.com is really for farmers only (regardless of how badly you want a rancher of your own), and deciding Gluten Free Singles wasn't the way to go for a die-hard carb lover, we tried Sizzl.
Despite telling the app we'd like to focus on bacon lovers in L.A., we were matched with people in Washington, Arizona, Boston and other places across the country.
When we came across someone we considered compatible, we held down the sizzle button, which of course is shaped like a heart. Don't fancy a particular bacon lover who pops up? Just hit the x-button. If you and a potential match both hit the sizzle button, you can chat.
This yes-no form of dating is similar to other dating apps, including Tinder, Hinge and Bumble. As with Bumble, if you match with someone, you have a week to message them. If you don't, your match disappears into bacon heaven.
We're still in search of our bacon soul mate, but here are some winners:
Jon, 37, has his face transposed onto Princess Leia's body in his profile picture. He claims he's a former hooker, but is now a writer from the Bay Area. He likes crispy pork bacon.
Moe, 39, is tired of dating vegetarians. He thought the app "would be fun." He likes crispy pork bacon.
Jim, 38, from Colorado, asked that his matches "don't go bacon my heart."
And Ryan, 38, believes turkey bacon isn't bacon, it's just bacon-flavored turkey. He likes his bacon chewy, heading toward crispy, but not actually crispy. He also claims microwaved bacon is a travesty. He was one of our favorites.
The app is free to download from the iPhone app store. You may not meet your future spouse, but at least you'll have someone to trade bacon one-liners with when you feel like it. That's probably more than you got from your six-month, on-again, off-again stint on Tinder.
I like my bacon crispy. Follow me on Twitter @Jenn_Harris_