"Jealousy is the ugliest trait," tweets a Mississippi fan. "All y'all hating on Ole Miss because y'all couldn't even dream of pulling a class like this."
Tweet or not, that's just good writing. Faulkner lives.
By the way, the Southeastern Conference treats national signing day like revenge for indignities it suffered in the Civil War. Hence, the former capital of the Confederacy, Ole Miss, is having a huge day. And I think Alabama's Nick Saban, always a step or two ahead, just signed some kid in utero.
Meanwhile, USC is hemorrhaging recruits so badly that Coach Lane Kiffin should call out the National Guard. My new favorite verb: "decommit." Suggested usage: "I didn't bail on that dinner party. I merely decommitted." Guess committing isn't what it used to be.
Just remember how spotty all this is. The Trojans were ranked No. 1 before last season and from what I hear that didn't pan out all that well. The hopes, the dreams, the expectations of all these programs are all orchestrated by a bunch of coaches trying to guess how some 17-year-old might eventually fill out.
"This guy has the potential to put on a lot of weight," former coach Gene Chizik says of Ohio State recruit Vonn Bell. "He's got wide shoulders.…This guy will knock you out. This guy will come downhill, he can play in the box."
Leave it to Lou Holtz, football's Elmer Fudd, to give the best perspective, noting that half of all blue-chip recruits in Texas don't even end up lettering, and that Texas Christian and Boise State never have what are considered boffo recruiting classes, but still have consistently strong teams.
Meanwhile, in Florida, that mom is still missing in action, having run off with her child's signing papers, another indication that on national signing day there will always be some busted plays.
"Sounds like his momma has his speed and elusiveness," one fan teases on a message board. "Does she have eligibility?"