Chris Dufresne’s top 25 college football rankings

You snooze, you lose in the rankings business — unless you’re Louisiana State Coach Les Miles, who somehow snoozes and wins. This week, the lower quadrant of the poll changed like an NHL line shift — five out, five in. We’ll miss PBS-like, teachable moment odes to former No. 25 James Madison, and it’s a rare week when you have to prepare parting-gift bags for Texas, USC and Penn State. In Mack Brown, Lane Kiffin and Joe Paterno, the poll is losing two legends and a Boy Scout, not to mention enough comment material to fill the space beneath an LSU coach’s cap.

1. Boise State 4-0; AP will drop team one more spot for warming up against Toledo. (1)

2. Alabama 5-0; Julio Jones (knee) listed as day-to-day along with the rest of us. (2)

3. Oregon 5-0; Pac-10 reprimands can’t match team’s average of 2.9 plays a minute. (4)

4. Ohio State 5-0; Kid in quad tells others that quarterback’s quad not that serious. (3)

5. Texas Christian 5-0; Ace of staff (defense) pitched 93-hit shutout over Colorado State. (5)

6. Oklahoma 5-0; It’s been smooth Sooner sailing since squeaker against powerhouse Utah State. (9)

7. Nebraska 4-0; “Hurricane Texas” on Oct. 16 downgraded to a Tropical Depression. (7)

8. Arizona 4-0; Oh brother: Is Mike on track to play Bob for the BCS national title? (10)

9. Arkansas 3-1; Returns to Southwest Conference this week to settle score with Texas A&M. (11)

10. Auburn 5-0; Sir Isaac “Cam” Newton dropped 52 apples on Louisiana Monroe. (12)

11. Utah 4-0; Utes and Colorado are combined 7-1 since accepting Pac-10 invites. (13)

12. Stanford 4-1; Lost satellite feed after you went up 21-3 on Oregon … what happened? (6)

13. Florida 4-1; Just sayin’: Boise State might win SEC East this year by two games. (8)

14. Iowa 4-1; Allowed three total points last two weeks to the state schools (Ball and Penn). (14)

15. Miami 3-1; Florida State won’t be the same without Bowden to (field goal) kick around. (15)

16. South Carolina 3-1; Lost Supreme Court trademark battle this week to the real USC. (16)

17. Michigan 5-0; RichRod so confident about job he’s going to lease motor home instead of rent. (20)

18. Nevada 5-0; UFO buffs would like to see offense average in the area of 51. (22)

19. Louisiana State 5-0; Baton-down-the-hatches coach needs a lot of work in the rouge zone. (17)

20. Michigan State 5-0; Doctor prescribes coach heart medicine called “Beatmichiganagain.” (NR)

21. Oregon State 2-2; Request: Don’t play at home same day as Oregon, or build another road to Portland. (NR)

22. Virginia Tech 3-2; Frank Beamer featured this week on hit cable show “I Survived … James Madison.” (NR)

23. Oklahoma State 5-0; Can anyone around here give us directions to Louisiana Lafayette? (NR)

24. Air Force 4-1; Sky is always the limit when you have access to fighter jets. (NR)

25. Wisconsin 4-1; Dairymen quote scripture to cope with defeat: “To every season, churn, churn, churn.” (18)

Dropped out: James Madison (25), North Carolina State (24), Texas (23), Penn State (21), USC (19).

Moved in: Virginia Tech Oregon State, Air Force, Oklahoma State, Michigan State.

chris.dufresne@latimes.com