Those are going to be some long lines for soda

DID YOU hear about the ruckus in San Diego?

The Padres gave a ticket discount to a gay group of about 1,000 and will have the Gay Men’s Chorus of San Diego sing the national anthem today while also passing out floppy hats to children 14 and under.

Set-Free Ministries, a local group of missionaries that helps staff Padres concession stands to raise money for its work, will have its employees walk out in protest.

A national law firm has joined those objecting, and The Times quoted an official from the firm saying, “The Padres are playing the part of the Pied Piper leading unsuspecting children into the homosexual lifestyle as normal.”

Like you, I’m appalled. I had no idea there were a bunch of outraged religious types working in Petco Park, and I guess I should be happy my grandmother is dead.

My grandmother was Gay. Everywhere we would go it was just common practice to hear people call her “Gay,” and I’m guessing that if she tried to buy a hot dog at one of the concession stands there, she would’ve been turned away.

Gay, by the way, was short for Gailey, her given name.

I’m not sure how many parents name their kids Gailey or Gay these days, because everyone wants the chance to have a hot dog when they go to a ballgame, so it’s just easier to name their kid Mary or Paris.

If you go to latimes.com and punch up “sports,” the face of the sports section every day now is a man who feels more comfortable living as a woman, but Lord help Christine if she happens to mention such a thing while waiting to buy a pretzel in San Diego.

I remember seven years ago this summer it being a big deal when two lesbians were seen kissing each other in Dodger Stadium. Highlight of the season if you recall how the Dodgers played.

The two women were escorted out of the park, and when an attorney gave the team the choice between a lawsuit or an apology, the Dodgers suddenly became understanding and gave 5,000 tickets to gay and lesbian organizations.

Now the kiss cam is as accepted here as much as the seventh-inning stretch, two women kissing probably drawing an ovation -- the camera in Angel Stadium settling on Plaschke and Page 2 last season, and well, you know what everyone in the press box wanted. If only Plaschke had shaved....

The folks who are upset with the Padres for treating a gay group like every other group they serve said they wouldn’t be upset if kids weren’t being lured to today’s game with the promise of a floppy hat. No word of whether they’d be upset if it was a bobble head or foam finger.

Now we’re going to have 1,000 gay people sitting in the same ballpark as a big crowd and a bunch of kids, and how many times has that happened before? How many times this week? These youngsters are going to be exposed to gay people, though, and in such an apple-pie setting as a ballpark, possibly forcing mom or dad to put down their beer to explain alternative lifestyles or compliment the Gay Men’s Chorus on its singing.

No such problems in Dodger Stadium, of course, because the scoreboard made no mention of any gay people in attendance Saturday, unless they were part of the Arleta Assembly of God or Living Waters Christian Fellowship groups.

I mentioned the San Diego ruckus to some of the Dodgers, and Luis Gonzalez recalled a time when they showed two men sitting next to each other and kissing each other on the big screen when he played for Arizona. It got the kind of reaction you might expect in a major league dugout until they learned it was the father and brother of one of their teammates mugging for the camera.

Just imagine if they had been spotted doing the same thing in San Diego, and then tried to buy a soda.

THIS YEAR’S NFL 101/201 event, giving folks a chance to “Play Like A Pro,” explains why the Charger Girls will be on hand to greet guests Thursday night in the Coliseum. As you know, they don’t get the chance very often to root for people who play like pros.

The Los Angeles Sports & Entertainment Commission-sponsored event, which will also include clinics by Keyshawn Johnson and Marshall Faulk, will allow participants to compete in the quarterback and receiver challenges, as well kick extra points.

Dinner will be served, or there’s no reason Johnson would’ve agreed to show, and openings remain for anyone interested in the 5 p.m. soiree. Contact alampe@lasec.us.

GRADY LITTLE said there is a case to be made for Derek Lowe being an All-Star, which is encouraging, because in preparing to pitch before an Orange County Flyers game July 22 to James Denton, the plumber on “Desperate Housewives,” it’s obvious Lowe and I have a lot in common -- we’re both sinker-ball pitchers.

Now it’s true, I’m a sinker-ball pitcher because I can’t quite get the ball to the plate yet, but like Lowe’s best pitch, my fastball just seems to drop off the table.

Placentia-area neighbors Juan Canales and Rory Zavala have been helping, Canales because he’s a nice guy, Zavala because he thinks I’m better-suited to playing baseball -- sending a letter to radio management recently asking I be fired.

Denton said he hopes the Flyers raise $20,000 for Mattel Children’s Hospital. “The Band From TV,” which includes Denton, will perform the night before our encounter, which is really exciting because the band also includes Hugh Laurie from “House,” who really is a heavy hitter in the world of TV.

TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Gregg Collins:

“ ... What a sad little life you must live. Four years in the NBA and five big league seasons and you don’t think Mark Hendrickson has done much? Like it or not, Mark is going to be in the rotation and sign a contract for more money than you and all the rest of the Simers’ family will make in 10 lifetimes.”

I guess you’re not taking into account the Bagger’s recent raise.

T.J. Simers can be reached at

t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.