Valentine’s events for the hearts and minds of L.A.

Valentine’s Day is a high-pressure holiday, no matter what your relationship status says. Venerated or vilified, the date is packed with events; L.A. seems to be overflowing with innovative ways to make the entire weekend a lovefest. Whether you’re spending this Valentine’s Day indulging a loved one or being self-indulgent, there’s a meal, mixer, dance, date night or gondola ride for you. Dig in, it’s time to feel the love.

Thursday

Lucha Va Voom: My Kinky Valentine. Valentine’s Day threatens to overwhelm us all with a gooey mess of lovey-dovey, but Lucha Va Voom will wipe your eyeballs clean of all that. Los Angeles’ infamous Mexican wrestling/burlesque/comedy troupe is back with a twisted ode to love, sex, violence and spandex. Mayan Theatre, 1038 S. Hill St. 8 p.m. $35. (213) 746-4674. luchavavoom.com.

Valentine’s Day at the Millennium Biltmore Hotel. Voted by Los Angeles Downtown Magazine as the city’s most romantic hotel, the gilded ‘n’ gorgeous Biltmore Hotel is pulling out all the stops. For a truly glamorous evening out, choose between pan-Asian dishes at Sai Sai or classic Italian fare at Smeraldi’s. Or, escape for the whole weekend with its “vintage romance” hotel package including a decadent, in-room dessert, brunch for two, and late check-out. MiIlennium Biltmore Hotel, 506 S. Grand Ave. (213) 624-1011. https://www.millenniumhotels.com.

Bourbon and Brassieres: A Men’s Shopping Event. Gents, here’s your chance to make Valentine’s Day shopping extra painless. Head over to Jenette Bras on Melrose for some bourbon tasting and expert advice on gifts for her, including bras, French stockings, garter belts and negligees. Jenette Bras, 4308 Melrose Ave. Thurs. and Fri., 6-8 p.m. Free. (323) 665-7490. https://www.jenettebras.com.

Friday

Gondola Getaways. It doesn’t get much more over-the-top romantic than a gondola ride. Whisk your heartthrob off his or her feet with Gondola Getaways, offering private cruises on authentic Venetian boats around Naples Island (Long Beach) complete with roses, antipasti or chocolate-covered strawberries, and a framed photograph. Excursions available through Tuesday. 5437 E. Ocean Blvd. $100-$140 per couple. (562) 433-9595; https://www.gondolagetawayinc.com.

Romancing the Screen at Aero Theatre. Relive the silver screen’s most passionate moments as the Aero and American Cinematheque show romantic classics all weekend long: “The Princess Bride” and “The Notebook” on Friday, “Gone With the Wind” on Saturday, “Casablanca” and “Double Indemnity” on Sunday, and “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” on Monday. Aero Theatre, 1328 Montana Ave. 7:30 p.m. $11 general admission, $9 children, students, seniors, $7 American Cinematheque members. (323) 466-FILM; https://www.americancinematheque.com.

Anti-Valentine’s Day at Vroman’s Hastings Ranch. If you’re tired of all the fuss over Valentine’s Day, Vroman’s has a humorous alternative: wine, cheese, and a mummified Barbie and Ken on a night to spurn Cupid and his arrows. Enter your worst Valentine’s Day horror story for a chance to win a prize. Vroman’s Hastings Ranch, 3729 E Foothill Blvd., Pasadena. 6 p.m. Free. (626) 351-0828; https://www.vromansbookstore.com.

LearnAboutWine’s Valentine Wine, Cheese and Chocolate Tasting. Here’s a chance to expand your palate and impress your date. Educational and indulgent, the expert connoisseurs over at LearnAboutWine are putting together a sumptuous soiree during which patrons will sample five different cheeses, five chocolates and 10 different varieties of wine. Loft 218, 530 Molino St. No. 218. Fri. and Sat., 8 p.m.; Sun., 6 p.m.; Mon 7:30 p.m. $69, $100 for two. (310) 451-7600; https://www.learnaboutwine.com.

Saturday

Valentine’s Sweetheart Dance, Catalina Island Ballroom. Catalina Island is the perfect mini-getaway from the city. Dance the night away in the beautiful Art Deco Casino Ballroom, with live music by Ace of Hearts, plus a decadent “Death By Chocolate” dessert bar. The Casino Ballroom, Avalon, Santa Catalina Island. 9 p.m. $25. https://www.visitcatalinaisland.com.

Naked at the Getty Scavenger Hunt. This is a chance for adults to go on a humorous, mind-tingling search for nudity at the Getty Center. Participants don’t need to know anything about art or the museum, or nudity, to solve the hunt’s tricky questions — just an inquisitive mind. Organized by Watson Adventures. 1200 Getty Center Drive. Sat. 1 p.m. and 4:30 p.m., Sun. 1 p.m. $24.50. (866) 811-4111; https://watsonadventures.com/schedule_la.html.

Valentine’s Day in 3-D at Kidspace. It’s going to be “LOVE in 3-D” all weekend long! Get the kids ready for Valentine’s Day by coming to Kidspace and making 3-D pop-up greeting cards, creating your own “love bugs,” making heart-shaped soap and Valentine’s Day bracelets — plus chocolate tasting in the Harvest Corner. Kidspace Children’s Museum, 480 N. Arroyo Blvd., Pasadena. Sat.-Sun. 10 a.m- 5 p.m. $10. (626) 449-9144; https://www.kidspacemuseum.org.

Singles Wine and Mingle at Rosenthal — The Malibu Wine Estate. Fine wine is not the only thing that’s going to be paired up at this swanky vino tasting and mixer. Tour the Malibu Vineyard, sample gourmet cheese and chocolates, and get discounts on wine purchases ... plus, hopefully, a phone number or two. Rosenthal —The Malibu Wine Estate, 29000 Newton Canyon Road, Malibu. 1 p.m. $60. (310) 456-1392; wineandmingle.eventbrite.com.

Silver Lake Market Looking for a truly one-of-kind gift for him or her? Silver Lake Art Craft & Vintage will be holding a special sexy Valentine’s market with more than two dozen local artists, vintage and collectible vendors setting up booths at Micheltorena Elementary School, plus a food truck court. Micheltorena Elementary School, 1511 Micheltorena St. 10 a.m.- 4 p.m. Free. https://www.silverlakeartcraftvintage.com.

Sunday

Give Up at Hyperion Tavern. When the pursuit of love goes south once again, there’s always crancing — a combination of crying and dancing. Join other shattered-heart groovers at Give Up, a night of EDM (emotional dance music) with Jimmy Tamborello (of Postal Service and Dntel), Frosty and Laura Darling Tone (plus more) at the appropriately intimate and dimly lit Hyperion Tavern. Hyperion Tavern, 1941 Hyperion Ave. 9 p.m. Free.

Jerry Beck’s Valentoons at Cinefamily. Jerry Beck opens the film vault and presents a collection of love-obsessed cartoon classics starring all your favorites, including the sex-starved Pepe LePew and Tex Avery’s luscious Red Riding Hood. Cinefamily at the Silent Movie Theatre, 611 N. Fairfax Ave. 7:30 p.m. $12. (323) 655-2520; https://www.cinefamily.org.

Sex and the City Zoo 2. Human relationships are complicated, but zebras have it tough too. Take a walk on the wild side and learn all about animal mating, dating and cohabitating. The L.A. Zoo will be hosting this provocative presentation by zoo veteran Jason Jacobs, who’ll be debating the pros and cons of relationships versus staying single in the animal kingdom. Los Angeles Zoo, 5333 Zoo Drive. Reception 5 p.m., lecture 6 p.m. $25 for members, $35 for non-members. https://www.lazoo.org.

Couples’ class at Yoga-Atsu. Valentine’s Day can be a day of healing and deep bonding. Combining the healing practices of yoga and shiatsu, Yoga-Atsu is offering a class for couples on simple yoga postures, and how to access pressure points for relief of pain and tension. Plus, champagne, strawberries and a take-home program. Shakti-Box, 4640 Franklin Ave. (behind 7-11). 2:30 p.m. $110. (213) 321-8218; https://www.yoga-atsu.com.

Food & Wine Lovers Festival at the Four Seasons Hotel. Enjoy an afternoon of samples from local chefs and wine makers, including fine chocolates and cheeses, hand-rolled cigars, live music and more. Event benefits Ventura County Food Share program. Four Seasons Hotel, 2 Dole Drive, Westlake Village. 2 p.m. $65. https://www.venturacountywinetrail.com.

Monday

Two Hearts Skate As One. Bring out your inner Torvill and Dean this Valentine’s Day at downtown Santa Monica’s temporary rink, ICE. Pairs of skaters will be treated to half-off admission and a live acoustic performance by Mark Russell. It’s also the last day to enjoy the rink (it closes Tuesday) that’s been transformed into a floral paradise (courtesy of Portraits of Hope and Herbal Essences). ICE at Santa Monica, 1324 5th St. 12 p.m.-10 p.m. $10 for two. (310) 710-8913; https://www.downtownsm.com.

Speed Date on the World’s Longest Red Sofa. More than 150 singles have a chance to meet with Cupid’s arrow this Valentine’s Day speed dating event on Santa Monica’s Third Street Promenade. Participants between age 30 and 43 vie for love on the world’s longest red leather sofa, which is 213 feet long and weighs more than 2.17 tons. Third Street Promenade (between Broadway and Wilshire Boulevard) $35. 6 p.m. https://www.hurrydate.com.

Valentine’s Day Dinner at Eva. How’s this for tugging on the old hearts strings: In honor of his grandmother Eva, chef-owner Mark Gold is bringing her old silverware to Table 23, and serving up a menu based on her wedding dinner. Even more “aw” inducing — the first couple at any table to get engaged (on Monday) gets a free supper every Sunday of 2011. Too precious! Eva, 7458 Beverly Blvd. (323) 634-0700; https://www.evarestaurantla.com.

Valentine’s Ball at the Edison. L.A.’s very own steampunk palace is throwing a “Queen of Hearts Ball,” with live entertainment, plus dance music courtesy of DJ Daisy O’Dell. And, there will be plenty of the Queen’s Punch on hand, a concoction of Perrier Jouet Champagne, Beefeaters Gin, strawberries and an added secret potion. As always, mind the dress code: the Edison only lets in the dapper. The Edison, 108 W. 2nd St. 7 p.m. $25. (213) 613-0000; https://www.edisondowntown.com.

Supperclub: The Art of Love. For the truly daring diners out there, the LA Supperclub serves up a feast for the senses at its event titled “The Art of Love.” The evening kicks off at 7 p.m. with a champagne reception, live music and performances. A sensual four-course meal is served, while you relax on top of a luxurious bed. The one rule is that no one feeds themselves, so make sure you bring a generous date. Supperclub, 6675 Hollywood Blvd. 7 p.m. (323) 466-1900; https://www.supperclub.com.

Valentine’s Day at Barbrix. In addition to its adventurous selection of tapas, charcuterie, salads, main dishes and more, chef Don Dickman is offering a smattering of specials such as grilled Caribbean spiced lobster tail. For libations, the ginger and rose-infused prosecco cocktail sounds delish. We’ll have three. Barbrix, 2442 Hyperion Ave. Reservations suggested. (323) 662-2442; https://www.barbrix.com.

Upright Citizens Brigade Valentine’s Day Mixer. If V-Day arrives and you’re still single, never fear: misery loves company ... and laughter. The funny people down at Upright Citizens Brigade will be more than happy to regale you with tales of awkward dates, embarrassing crushes and unrequited love. Starring: Stephanie Allynne, Alex Berg, Neil Campbell, Todd Fasen, Alex Fernie, Ben Schwartz, Amanda Sitko and Deborah Tarica. UCB Theatre, 5919 Franklin Ave. 11 p.m. $5. (323) 908-8702; losangeles.ucbtheatre.com.

Valentine’s Day Soiree at Mas Malo. If your real passion is for all-you-can-eat Latin-influenced cuisine, then Mas Malo has your best interests at heart. For a mere $20, diners can enjoy unlimited amounts of select dishes by executive chef Robert Luna. Signature Valentine’s cocktails and a DJ round out an unpretentious, casual vibe. Mas Malo, 515 W. 7th St. $20. (213) 985-4332; https://www.malorestaurant.com.

Word Theatre Lit By Lulu: Hearts Aflame. A tribute to the lost art of love letters, Lit By Lulu presents an evening of the most passionate, funny, devastating and witty love and breakup letters ever penned, from 11th century missives to 21st century e-mails. Featuring Julia Davis, Christina Pickles, Edi Gathegi, Ian Hart, Sean Young, Jackson Rathbone, plus many more. Arrive early to snag a plush booth at M Bar and enjoy a bite from the bistro-style menu. M Bar, 1253 N. Vine St. 6:30 p.m. $35. (323) 856-0036; https://www.wordtheatre.com.

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