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Steven Seagal
Steven Seagal's 'Absolution': unforgivably bad
Steven Seagal's 'Absolution': unforgivably bad

A cheap, moldy cut of flavorless action about mercenaries, sex slaves and rich mobsters in the Ukraine, “Absolution” stars Steven Seagal as … does it matter? He’s not a sex slave, thank heaven. The potbellied 63-year-old musician and reserve deputy sheriff -- just to pick two of the myriad job titles on his Wikipedia page -- looks to be setting some record here for least amount of effort starring in a movie. Once, his imposing frame, beady eyes and hand-chop speed suggested an admirably silly aura of beat-down menace. But now, Seagal looks like a disgraced Vegas magician, swaddled in a big coat and sporting an unfortunate goatee, drowsy line readings and the...

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