How much is that doggie in the...

How much is that doggie in the flatbed?

At least $50 in fines, if they catch you.

A state law effective New Year’s Day makes it illegal to haul your Dobie, German shepherd or Shih Tzu in the back of a pickup truck without adequate restraints.

Unless you’re a rancher or cattleman--or you work for one--critters in an open truck bed must be cross-tethered, or put inside a strapped-down cage, or in a truck with side rails at least 46 inches high.

Nationwide, some 100,000 dogs were flung from truck beds and killed last year, said Edward Cubrda, director of the Los Angeles Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, who staged a demonstration of pet restraints on Tuesday and noted, “If a dog is tossed out, it could cause a 15-car pileup, not to mention killing the dog and possibly severely injuring humans or killing them.”

Since mini-pickups became the cutting edge of rolling urban chic, driving around with a big dog has become “kind of a macho thing to do,” Cubrda said. But “if you have to brake or swerve suddenly, I don’t care how well trained that dog is . . . there’s no way that dog is g oing to stay in that (truck) bed.”

After the turkey and the ham, and the turkey sandwiches and the ham sandwiches, and the turkey casseroles and the ham casseroles, there is . . . pastrami.

When even the denizens of Skid Row would probably welcome a break from holiday staples, the Pocino Meat Co. of Industry has the very thing.

The firm donated about a half-ton of pastrami and corned beef to the Los Angeles Mission, which plans to start slicing it sandwich-size this week into nearly 4,000 deli delights.

Naturally, says food services manager Brian Upshur, “we’ll have plenty of mustard on hand.”

The subject will be roses, but the object will be Beryl Brian.

During the Tournament of Roses parade, a small plane will take to the air above Pasadena to loop “Goodbye Beryl” across the sky, Jack and Jacqui Brian’s farewell to their wife and mother.

The Torrance woman died in October, and her husband of 41 years has wanted since then to bid a fitting farewell to the British-born woman who coddled her own roses and adored airplanes.

“She’d love it,” said her friend, Felice Apodaca. “I keep feeling I want to call her up and tell her about it. . . . She liked the flamboyant gesture.”

Is there something about an official vehicle that subliminally insists, “Steal me”?

Three elected officials’ cars--none of them exactly candidates for a concours d’elegance --have been pinched in three years by thieves; the latest, Councilwoman Joy Picus’ 1984 mauve Oldsmobile.

It was swiped Monday from a Woodland Hills mall, where Picus had stopped on her way home from work to take advantage of after-Christmas sales.

It turned up a few hours later in Sepulveda, according to Los Angeles Police Detective Roland L’Heureux. One window was broken, the trunk was pried open and the mobile phone and Picus’ briefcases were gone.

In 1984, Mayor Tom Bradley’s 1975 Buick Electra was swiped from his very driveway, and last June, the venerable (1973) Buick Park Avenue that ferried Dist. Atty. Ira Reiner was commandeered at gunpoint as Reiner’s driver waited for his boss in front of Spago’s--stolen by two men driving a perfectly good red Mercedes.

For a month, they kept arriving at Burbank Community Hospital, two by two . . .

Shoes for the homeless.

From high heels to size-18 sneakers, more than 3,000 pairs of new and slightly broken-in shoes donated by residents, local merchants and shoe manufacturers accumulated in the “Heart and Sole” collection for the Salvation Army.

“Wintertime, if you’ve got a hole in your shoe and you’re putting cardboard in it, that’s not too good,” reasoned hospital spokesman Jurral Rhee.

Although not so much as a moccasin came in from Imelda Marcos, most people “have shoes at home that may be a little bit tight . . . or maybe they didn’t like,” and “could clean out their closets and help a homeless person.”

The hospital hoped for 5,000 pairs of walking shoes, but even the more frivolous pumps and mules, useless for outdoor living, can be given to the needy.

Says Rhee, “Ladies like high heels, whether they’re needy or not.”