THEATER REVIEW : All Relative in ‘Lovesongs’ : Play spares no sympathy for self-pity in a rich, honest story of a flawed, but ultimately functioning, family.

There are probably few families in modern dramatic literature more dysfunctional than the tribe playwright Don Nigro describes in his dark comedy “Grotesque Lovesongs,” at the Whitefire Theatre.

But Nigro has an important point to make. These are scrappy folks, and they only spend a little time letting their flaws skew their existence. Nigro is telling self-pitying types to get a life. And this family does.

Louise and Dan have had a typical marriage, based on misconceptions, but affectionate and lasting. Their eldest son, Pete, fell for a carnival girl and followed her to Las Vegas, where she took his money and car and disappeared. Now Pete sullenly helps his father with Dan’s horticultural business.

Younger son John is engaged to twice-married Romy, but not sure he really wants the marriage. And he doesn’t know that Pete has always had an eye on Romy.

Louise is the gritty glue that holds them all together. The secret that almost tears them apart, when John inherits a large estate from a mysterious Mr. Agajanian, is her secret, and the clue is an old photograph at the bottom of her jewel box.

It this all sounds like melodrama, so do “Hamlet” and “Long Day’s Journey Into Night.” Except that Nigro’s play is often very funny, and James Burke’s direction not only gives clear-cut illumination to Nigro’s wisdom, but also finds the humanity in the balance of his characters’ intent and the honesty of their jousting.

Bill Eigenbrodt’s beautifully detailed set in the newly expanded Whitefire--the greenhouse, and the dining room, porch, bedroom and attic of the family house--becomes almost another character in its richness of personality. It looks as though these people have lived out their lives in it. And the actors wear Tamara Cooper’s costumes with the ease of long use.

Jian Hong Kuo’s intricate lighting, in its softness and shading, makes some of the scenes look like paintings.

This family might be the “American Gothic” for the ‘90s, while letting us see behind false normalcy into the heart and soul of what makes a working family tick. The actors grab hold of this idea wholeheartedly, showing their characters’ angry surface first, then peeling away the outer leaves one by one until the value of one to the other becomes unerringly evident.

Most impressive is the intuitive, inventive and deliciously rich performance of Judy Jean Berns as Louise, the immense control of detail, humor and shading to create an affectionate portrait of a troubled wife and mother. Daniel Hirsch and Steve Apostolina as Pete and John couldn’t be better, Hirsch for his understanding of Pete’s weaknesses and strengths, and Apostolina for the subtlety of John’s simplicity and inner power.

Bobbie Candler, as Romy, gives reality to a role that a lesser actress might paint too broadly, and the reticence of Vincent Cobb’s early scenes as Dan are deceptively pale. In Cobb’s final scene, his control and stature have emerged to validate the tower of wisdom Dan has always been.

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WHERE AND WHEN

What: “Grotesque Lovesongs.”

Location: Whitefire Theatre, 13500 Ventura Blvd., Sherman Oaks.

Hours: 8 p.m. Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. 3 p.m. Sundays. Ends April 15.

Price: $10 to $12.

Call: (818) 990-2324.