The News That Could Be in a Somewhat Familiar Form

Disney may buy the Getty Center, Newt Gingrich could be the next President and O.J. Simpson might have a Polynesian bride name Kia.

Impossible?

Not in the creative mind of Doug Herman, a Santa Monica artist who has finished two in a series of “what-if” paintings that depict the future as reported by a major metropolitan newspaper much like this one.

In Doug’s World, the newspaper is actually called Los Angeles Time, Column One is dubbed Column Left, the newsstand price is a hefty 75 cents, and the circulation is more than 2 million.

Literary and historical figures have been resurrected to help carry out Herman’s journalistic fantasy--among them Shakespeare, Dr. Seuss, Mark Twain, Charles Darwin, Oscar Wilde and Jane Austen.

The fictitious newspaper takes a mirthful look at the things people in Los Angeles call important, Herman said.

The lead article in one version of the paper is the story of Disney turning the new Getty Center into a theme park centered on a ride that gives visitors a whirlwind tour of Marilyn Monroe’s life.

A small box on the bottom right corner of the page alerts readers to an earthquake that rocked China, Tibet and India.

“Los Angeles is a town where realism is pushed to a parody,” Herman said. “I thought I’d push this parody-realism into the next century.” For now, the work is on display in a tiny Santa Monica eatery called Yong’s Cafe.

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ECO-EAGLES: Singer-songwriter Don Henley married model Sharon Summerall in Malibu last weekend, being careful, like all true Westsiders, to be respectful of the environment.

Fellow Eagles band mates Glenn Frey, Joe Walsh, Don Felder and Timothy B. Schmitt attended the un-publicized ceremony, as did David Crosby, Clint Black, Randy Newman, Jimmy Buffett and other artists.

Sting entertained. So did Billy Joel, Jackson Browne, Bruce Springsteen, Sheryl Crow, Bruce Hornsby, John Fogerty, the Chieftains and Tony Bennett.

The groom himself sang a few numbers. His band, which broke up in acrimony in 1980 but just completed a 112-show “Hell Freezes Over” tour, did not play. Instead, members of the Los Angeles Symphony Orchestra jammed on selections from Bach, Beethoven and Mozart.

A publicist made it known that the couple sent out their invitations on recycled paper.