Kings’ Attitude Overhaul Just Might Work--Seriously

The era of Serious Hockey in Los Angeles began Friday evening when four guys dropped from the Forum ceiling on ropes.

It continued with a national anthem by somebody named Puff.

Only when fathead filled a dramatic pause in her first verse with a screaming rip of the referee that sounded like, “Koharski Mucks,” did the Kings new owners sigh.

They are bold, bless ‘em, this outfit caught between a Shaq and a Quack.

Not just anybody would anoint their campaign under the heading, “Serious Hockey” the year after Wayne Gretzky leaves town.

The Kings did precisely that, and began their attempt to support that claim Friday during a 1-0 season opening victory over the New York Islanders.

For nearly three hours in front of about half as many empty seats as people, there were serious hits, serious penalties, and serious pucks clanging off serious pipes.

Serious Hockey? Depends on your definition.

There is a suspicion that the Kings define it as, “Hockey of the sort that is not played at the stupid Pond by those sissy Ducks.”

Not that they will ever admit it.

“It has nothing to do with the Ducks,” said Tim Leiweke, the Kings’ new president. “The saying came out of our retreat last spring, when Larry Robinson was saying that what we want is serious hockey. It stuck.”

It figures that Robinson, the Kings coach, one Serious Man, would say that. He treated Friday’s pregame introductions like an interruption, scowling at the fans, who mostly scowled back.

And it figures that former Denver resident Leiweke would never deliberately take a shot at the Ducks, who helped his former city obtain the Nordiques last year.

But don’t believe any of it.

Spend an evening at the Forum watching players you don’t know beat up other players you barely know, all while listening to organ-led chants unfit for your children, and it becomes obvious.

Serious Hockey is Anti-Ducks hockey.

Serious Hockey is an attempt by this star-challenged group to build a new base of fans from the ones who left with number 99.

The Ducks are going to the playoffs, and could be the most exciting hockey story in the Southland since the Kings’ appearance in the Stanley Cup finals way, way, way, way back when. (OK, 1993).

The Kings are not going anywhere.

Serious Hockey is an attempt to celebrate the differences.

The only music is hard rock.

The only smoke is from the guys in the parking lot.

The only lasers come from the stick of Vitali Yachmenev.

Their flying mascot is Rob Blake.

It’s cold, and intense, and full of the sounds of crashing boards and sticks on backs.

And it could work.

Because it’s a blast.

“Nothing against anybody else,” Leiweke said, “but we’re getting rid of all the hype.”

The fans don’t cheer for players, but plays.

And whoever they are, it appears this Kings team will make interesting plays.

Like this:

Second period, goalie Stephane Fiset loses his stick in a scrum in front of the net. Blake hands him his stick, and then apparently figures, what the heck.

For the next several seconds, he skates around the ice knocking Islanders on their keisters. The crowd roars.

“When you have a guy like Gretzky, you have a tendency to think, OK, if I don’t play good, he can still win it for us,” King winger Kevin Stevens said. “This team can’t do that. We know that if all 20 guys don’t play hard every night, we will not win.”

Added Blake: “It’s intimidating to play with someone like Wayne. He is a tremendous player and person, but he has this presence, and there’s nothing he can do about it.

“Now, well, it’s a different atmosphere.”

But such is the dilemma of Serious Hockey.

Why should fans who loved The Great One still pay hundreds to watch The Six Ones In Need Of A Shave?

The starting six on opening night?

Blake, Norstrom, Laperriere, Potomski, Bylsma and Fiset.

You love Blake, you shop at Norstrom, you know somebody who once had Bylsma. After that, you’re lost.

Is it any wonder that the loudest pre-game cheers were for longtime trainer Peter Demers? And yes, he did smile.

But understand this.

At no time during this season will any of those above six players demand that teammates be traded, and friends be acquired.

At no time will any of them worm his way into a position where he is bigger than the coach, so big that young players worry about pleasing him and the coach.

And absolutely at no time will any of those players stick out his lower lip send an entire organization into the toilet with one long pout.

There are other ways this town can react to the loss of Gretzky besides mourning.

It can count its blessings.

Which is what the Kings were doing Friday at the start of their first full season in eight years without him.

Post-Gretzky. Anti-Ducks. Serious Hockey.

Come to think of it, it does have certain ring.