Studio Stores

A Hollywood studio is really a company town--complete with a company store. And really, why dispatch your overworked assistant to Thrifty to fetch a fresh package of Tagamet for your budding ulcer when you can get it--and so much more--without ever leaving the lot?

*

Sony

The Studio Emporium

Employees get steep discounts on the vast selection of Sony-label music as well as home-vid versions of Tristar/Columbia talkies (cozy up to a Sony D-Girl and watch your Streisand collection explode). Given the studio’s chronic management upheavals, it was no surprise that the Alka-Seltzer/Nuprin/Rolaids display looked particularly picked over.

Most super-glamorous item: Suede jacket with Columbia logo on back: $299.

*

Paramount

The Studio Store

Paramount logo-bearing memorabilia to commemorate tourists’ visits to the lot--at standard tourist prices. Aside from “Star Trek” tie-ins and “Frasier” greeting cards, the most memorable item is the book “How to Write for Television,” perhaps intended for neophyte writers on the lot who find themselves in way over their heads.

Fun Fact: Amount of merchandise for sale inspired by non-”Star Trek” shows on Paramount’s UPN network: None.

*

Universal

The Corner Store

Golf balls, pantyhose, Swiss Army knives, license plate frames . . . welcome to the Wal-Mart of studio stores. Word has it that when Seagram purchased the studio two years ago, previously stocked brands of orange juice were swiftly replaced by Seagram-brand Tropicana.

Attention shoppers: “The Heroic Legends of Hercules and Xena” CD-ROM: $19.95

*

Disney

The Disney Store

Once upon a time the humble store on the Disney lot sold overflow items from the many souvenir traps at Disneyland. Now it’s just another Disney Store, containing the wonderful world of merchandise available in a mall near you.

Most outrageously priced item: Hand-painted limited-edition cel from “Snow White,” $2,950.

*

20th Century Fox

The Studio Store

A resurgence of “Star Wars” merchandise notwithstanding, look for the usual eponymous studio schlock--T-shirts, jackets, caps, key chains--all of it crammed into a five-and-dime-style jumble.

Best buy: Bound “X-Files” teleplay by Chris Carter: $12.50

*

Warner Bros.

The Warner Bros. Store

Bugs and Tweety apparel dominates. Studio working stiffs who desire aspirin must hike to the tiny newsstand by the commissary, which closes at 2:30 p.m.

Yo, synergy: Now that Hanna-Barbera is part of Warner Bros., you can buy Scooby Doo socks along with your Bugs Bunny boxers.