What Have They Done With Barry?

The World Series begins today, and the Angels have Barry Bonds right where they want him.

Smiling.

“Obviously, everyone’s excited to be here,” Bonds said. “I am, particularly. It’s something I’ve worked for my whole life.”

Relaxed.

“I rest easy every day I wake up,” Bonds said.

Wistful.

“I remember being out here all the time,” Bonds said of the Edison Field site. “We used to have family softball games with the Disney characters.”

Even -- and please don’t tell Scott Boras -- sentimental.

“I have the opportunity to play left field and I play against the ghost of Willie [Mays] and my dad [Bobby],” Bonds said. “My dad played right field, my godfather played center, I play left. I get to have that dream every single day when I step on that field at Pac Bell.”

After mostly blowing off the media and public while blowing through the first two rounds of the playoffs, Bonds performed two very uncharacteristic feats at Friday’s news conference.

1. He showed up.

2. He didn’t try to verbally reduce everyone to the size of Jeff Kent’s mustache.

All of which surely led the Giants to a single conclusion.

1. They’re in trouble.

In this era of distraction and Best Damn Something or Anothers, Barry Bonds has become Babe Ruth precisely because he is not Babe Ruth.

He doesn’t engage the media. He doesn’t notice the fans. He doesn’t do publicity or patter or even politeness, and he doesn’t care what anyone thinks.

This is why he can calmly hit homers in calamitous situations. This is why he can pop louder than the flashbulbs and roar louder than the crowd.

Because they’re not there. Nothing is there except the ball and the bat and some shivering fisherman in a plastic kayak.

Barry Bonds owns the baseball world because he is convinced there is nobody else playing.

“Man don’t talk to nobody,” teammate Shawon Dunston explained.

So suddenly, Friday, on the eve of his first World Series after 17 years of trying, he shows up talking to everybody?

He holds this 20-minute conference that covers everything from his batboy son to his Hall of Fame godfather, from the love of his manager to his respect for Jeff Kent?

“Michael Jordan had Scottie Pippen, Magic Johnson had Kareem,” Bonds said. “There’s always going to be somebody to help that other person ... become a better player or challenge themselves, and Jeff Kent challenges me a lot in how I perform.”

Jeff Kent?

The guy who, earlier this year, he shoved in the dugout?

Comparing him to Kareem?

Easy, Big Fella.

Bonds’ behavior was understandable, but unsettling.

It was welcome, but weird.

If the Giants aren’t worried, they ought to be.

This is a man who approached 73 home runs last year as if he were being dragged into quicksand.

This is a man who is known as much for his scowls as his swings and will be remembered as

much for his aloofness as his athleticism.

This is a man who actually started Friday’s news conference by refusing to answer the first question.

But that’s OK, it was from me, it was an oddly worded question, and earlier this week I unfortunately described him as a slug, so I can hardly blame him.

“Do you think if a pitcher intentionally walks you, is he being smart, or is he not being brave?” I asked.

“Next question,” he said, glaring.

Folks thought, how perfect, on the eve of the biggest series of his career, he’s going to spend it taking indoor batting practice.

But he didn’t.

The next question was about constantly handling pitches outside the strike zone, and he answered it with Hall of Fame insight

“Like they say, the game’s about inches,” Bonds said. “He may make that pitch that, on his inches, that’s the pitch he got me out. But if he misses with those inches, that’s the pitch I’m going to hit out.”

Then the next question was about reporters who criticize Bonds for not playing well in the postseason until now, and he didn’t even rip the reporters.

“It’s your guy’s job, that’s what you do,” he said. “I don’t discredit your jobs. I mean, that’s what you guys do, you analyze us. That’s fine with me.”

It was all fine with him.

Asked about watching previous World Series games, he said he was never going to go until his team made it.

“Unfortunately, I hit 73 home runs last year and got invited to go to the World Series and throw out the first pitch,” he said, laughing.

Such a great laugh, you wondered where it had been hiding.

Then it came out again when he talked about Manager Dusty Baker bringing food to their lockers, and about his batboy son Nikolai, and about dealing with those intentional walks.

“I learned when I hit 73 home runs ... my son was upset and my daughter was upset, saying, ‘They pitch to everyone else, Dad. How come you don’t get to hit?’ ” he explained. “I told my son ... there are other parts of the game of baseball than just swinging a bat.”

And on it went, a fine late-afternoon conversation with a guy who will one day be bronzed in Cooperstown. Giant folks will say this happens with Bonds occasionally, this sudden pleasantness and cheerfulness and charm.

They call it Good Barry.

On the eve of a series in which nastiness will be required, it was more like Scary Barry.

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Bill Plaschke can be reached at bill.plaschke@latimes.com.