He Still Waits for East to Rise

Further misadventures in the East, or, Hey dude, where’s my other conference?

Commissioner David Stern was asked last week about seeding the playoffs, as he is every time he sticks his head out of his office.

Not that it’s softening him up. He rejected the idea again, repeating his “I don’t remember anybody saying this when the Bulls won every year” rebuttal.

He’s right, but the Chicago Bulls’ Finals weren’t walkovers, with five of the six going six games and TV ratings at all-time highs.

As I’ve noted, I’m proud -- or have the nerve to insist -- to claim I started this process, although I admit I was a little early: An off day in the 1999 Finals, with the Bulls’ run just having ended and the San Antonio Spurs about to take the title west.

I don’t blame Stern for pooh-poohing it then. Of course, everything I thought I saw not only materialized but accelerated, until almost all the big men were in the West and the Finals became so anticlimactic, when last spring’s finally went six games, the TV ratings crashed anyway.

With the West having won the last five by a combined 20-6, Stern and I discussed seeding recently. Actually, I lobbed it up and he swatted it as if he were Bill Russell, asking another official merrily, “What do we call it, the Stupid Heisler Initiative?”

I won’t want to be a burden to a commissioner whose league has provided me with so many thrills, not to mention the straight lines and Donald T. Sterling. I’m happy to keep waiting for that cycle, especially because I serve in a self-appointed advisory capacity and their ratings don’t affect my pay.

So here it is, year six.... Nope, still no recycling trend.

Not that this season looks like a washout, with the rookies pulling in ratings, the Lakers returning in all their marquee glory and the emergence of an East contender in Indiana.

Unfortunately, the West’s best teams keep emerging too, or die, like last season, when the Lakers stood pat and the Sacramento Kings and Spurs leapfrogged them ... and this summer when the Lakers leapfrogged them back.

Nor is an end in sight, with the Spurs able to get $10 million under the salary cap next summer.

The East’s Big Man Drain has continued with Alonzo Mourning’s retiring and Indiana All-Star center Brad Miller’s going to Sacramento, which was already bigger than any team in the East.

Meanwhile in Munchkin Land, Toronto General Manager Glen Grunwald just announced a new East philosophy after trading his starting center and power forward for perimeter players, asserting one must “look at where our sport is headed overall....

“Guys like Kevin Garnett and Tim Duncan are great players but they aren’t traditional low-post centers, either,” Grunwald said. “The only dominant one left is Shaquille O’Neal and the only dominant one on the horizon is Yao Ming.”

Grunwald may have missed a trend or two waiting for Vince Carter to get through puberty. Big men still rule. Otherwise, teams wouldn’t be turning over rocks looking for them, including the unknowns from far-flung junior colleges and far-off republics.

Garnett and Duncan aren’t low-post centers but are huge. They can guard any East center by themselves (both are annual all-defense first teamers, as well as top-10 scorers and rebounders) but East teams had better double-team them.

Of course, East coaches are out of the habit and may forget, as Orlando’s Johnny Davis did last week when he let Duncan go for 47.

You may remember New Jersey’s Byron Scott single-covering O’Neal in the 2002 Finals (4-0 Laker sweep), Philadelphia’s Larry Brown trying it in 2001 (4-1 Laker waltz) and Indiana’s Larry Bird junking his entire defensive scheme in 2000 to double-team O’Neal (who averaged 39 in a 4-2 Laker victory.)

Before 1996 when O’Neal was in Orlando, it was the East teams that stockpiled big men. Two years after O’Neal came to the Lakers, Indiana still started 7-foot-4 Rik Smits, 6-11 Dale Davis and 6-10 Derrick McKey with 6-9 Antonio Davis and 6-9 Sam Perkins coming off the bench.

The pendulum has swung back so far that East teams don’t know what to do and, showing they’re truly out of it, may argue they don’t have to do anything.

The best in the West now have multiple big men: the Lakers’ O’Neal, Karl Malone, Slava Medvedenko and Horace Grant; the Kings’ Miller, Chris Webber, Vlade Divac and Tony Massenburg; the Spurs’ Duncan, Rasho Nesterovic and Kevin Willis.

Meanwhile, in the East ...

Indiana -- Jermaine O’Neal and 6-11, 250-pound Jeff Foster are an OK tandem. Overall talent is good, although the Pacers start journeyman Kenny Anderson at the point. Young as they are, Coach Rick Carlisle has them playing good enough defense to take them to a new level.

If the East had two or three more teams this far along, it would be in better shape. But it doesn’t.

New Orleans -- The perennially disappointing Hornets look better, but Baron Davis has gone off the deep end on three-pointers -- he just went nine for 68 in a six-game stretch -- while trying to carry them. Jamal Mashburn’s return will help, but Jamal Magloire and P.J. Brown are all that remains of their deep frontcourt.

Oh, and they’ll be in the West next season, replaced in the East by expansion Charlotte.

Detroit -- While Carlisle shapes up the underachieving Pacers, Larry Brown faces transition issues with Carlisle’s old, overachieving Pistons. Darko Milicic is a long way away. Upset at not playing, he got the ball under the hoop at the end of Thursday’s loss at Cleveland but the rim blocked his dunk. He finally made his first basket Friday in a lopsided loss to Seattle.

New Jersey -- Team President Rod Thorn may go down with Scott, but the Nets tried. Unfortunately, neither Mourning nor Dikembe Mutombo worked out, costing them $50 million for centers they no longer have. The franchise is being sold, amid speculation the new owner may trade Jason Kidd and start over when, or if, they get their new arena in Newark, Brooklyn or wherever.

Toronto -- With Antonio Davis gone, the Raptors’ front line is 6-10, 225-pound rookie Chris Bosh, Donyell Marshall and Carter. That’s small even in the East.

Philadelphia -- Derrick Coleman, 36, is the 76ers’ center when everyone’s healthy. He’s averaging 9.3 points, 6.2 rebounds, 0.8 blocks and has missed nine games. Asked last summer why he gave Coleman a three-year, $13.5-million deal, General Manager Billy King noted this was the East, etc.

Boston -- Antoine Walker looks as if he’s finally growing up, but in Dallas, meaning Another Big Man Just Went West! Raef LaFrentz may need knee surgery. Guard Paul Pierce is the Celtics’ leading rebounder.

Milwaukee -- The Bucks may be a pleasant surprise (back there), but with Daniel Santiago and Dan Gadzuric, they’ll need an upgrade in the big-man department.

Chicago -- The Bulls have the bodies, but Eddy Curry is lazy and Tyson Chandler, who’s tougher, is hurt a lot. Antonio Davis, 35, will be increasingly superfluous in his three-season stay, at $12.3 million per. Jerome Williams will be superfluous as soon as Chandler is off the injured list. They shopped talented Jamal Crawford, suggesting how clueless he is. Cap room is gone for years. Forget Scott Skiles, John Wooden would have his hands full.

Miami -- The Heat starts three guards with Lamar Odom and Brian Grant. With Odom at $10 million a season, they’re out of cap room for the duration.

Washington -- The Wizards’ birth agonies with Kwame Brown continue. Benched again in his third season by his second coach, he averaged 18 points and eight rebounds last week. “You’ve got to hold on by your fingernails,” said Coach Eddie Jordan, hopefully. “Maybe it will come.”

New York -- Mutombo, ‘tweener Keith Van Horn and Antonio McDyess are big but look like an awful fit. If McDyess isn’t all the way back, they can’t re-sign him, which would mean that they turned the 2002 pick that could have been Amare Stoudemire or Nene into nothing.

Orlando -- The Magic’s plan was to start Juwan Howard at center. Surprise, it didn’t work.

Cleveland -- Stern actually said last spring he wanted to see what LeBron James brought to the “fabric of the East.” Let’s just say James has had more impact on merchandising.

Atlanta -- Are the Hawks still in the league?

Nevertheless, I’m about being constructive. If seeding is no good, how about ...

Contraction!

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(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX)

Tall Order

Showing the lack of big men in the Eastern Conference, Alonzo Mourning -- who retired because of kidney problems last month -- is the second-leading vote-getter among centers.

*--* EASTERN CONFERENCE Player, Team Ht Votes Ben Wallace, Detroit 6-9 597,959 Alonzo Mourning, New Jersey 6-10 156,455 Zydrunas Ilgauskas, Cleveland 7-3 127,677 Eddy Curry, Chicago 6-11 54,974 Antonio Davis, Chicago 6-9 50,322 WESTERN CONFERENCE Player, Team Ht Votes Shaquille O’Neal, Lakers 7-1 534,380 Yao Ming, Houston 7-5 414,063 Vlade Divac, Sacramento 7-0 62,701 Brad Miller, Sacramento 7-1 51,410 Rasho Nesterovic, San Antonio 7-0 37,484

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Voting through Dec. 10