East is West and up is down in college conference realignments

You need a score card to chart the moves football teams are making across conference lines. But there's a reason for the school scramble. (Hint: It's green.)

Tired of tracking the conference whereabouts of your favorite school?

Well, take a number and get in realignment line.

Even the people paid to cover the sport have trouble keeping up.

INTERACTIVE: Conference Realignment chart

The turning point for "yours discombobulated truly" was the announcement that Temple would be joining San Diego State in the West Division of the Big East.

Temple is in Philadelphia.

"OK, Mr. BCS bus driver, this is where I get off."

Take last Saturday … please.

On the day Utah State won the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl as part of the Western Athletic Conference, staging its last season after being plundered out of the football business, Big East basketball filed divorce papers against Big East football.

Basketball will probably keep "Big East" as part of the settlement as the cobbled-together football wing tries to go it alone.

The 13-school football configuration sounds more like a road trip on Food Network's "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives."

Memphis (barbecue)

Cincinnati (chili spaghetti)

Tulane (jambalaya)

—San Diego State (fish tacos)

—Temple (cheese steak).

It's hard to imagine why the seven Catholic basketball schools would not want to partner up for some of these Lewis and Clark excursions.

Big East Commissioner Mike Aresco, in a statement, insisted the football schools are "working together to forge a future."

It could be a long, cold winter in Valley Forge.

We've even provided a color-coded map to keep up with all these conference swaps.