The Times’ top 25 college football rankings

Louisiana State, docked five preseason ranking spots after a bar fight, decked Oregon and moved up eight. Don’t freak out Oklahoma Sooners; you’re still the highest-ranked Pac-16 team and the two of the teams in front of you play each other later this season. Boise State’s win over Georgia moves it ahead of Oklahoma and Florida State, which play in Tallahassee on Sept. 17. See how it works, Boise? With the real pollsters, you’re a rope that has to thread a needle. That win over Georgia was only marginally better than a loss because now people say, “You couldn’t win in the SEC every week,” as if you’ve been asked to join. Auburn stays in the poll and Texas Christian is out — but only because there was a better joke about Auburn.

1; Alabama 1-0; Off to Penn State to play team with anti-Maryland helmets. (1)

2; Louisiana State 1-0; Funny how Boise beat a ranked SEC team before the Tigers did. (10)

3; Boise State 1-0; SEC fraternities also doubt school, party-wise, could compete on weekly basis. (4)

4; Oklahoma 1-0; Pac-12 knows you’re interested. Please stop sending cheese platters. (2)

5; Florida State 1-0; Go ahead and dance the Charleston Southern this week in advance of Oklahoma. (5)

6; Wisconsin 1-0; Only 10 days to prepare for Corvallis Kids who lost to Sacramento State. (8)

7; Stanford 1-0; Luck needs only 31 TDs vs. Duke to break Elway’s school career record of 77. (6)

8; Nebraska 1-0; In-coming Fresno State is what you looked like when you were little Cornhuskers. (7)

9; Texas A&M 1-0; Move into top 10 subject to approval of Baylor’s legal counsel. (14)

10; Oklahoma State 1-0; Win over Arizona’s Stoops prelude to win over Oklahoma’s Stoops? (9)

11; Virginia Tech 1-0; Schedule so breezy you could dry a load of laundry with it. (15)

12; Oregon 0-1; Arraigned in fashion court as accessory to the crime of Maryland’s helmets. (3)

13; Florida 1-0; NCAA cites Brantley for looking like “pro” in Weis’ pro-style offense. (16)

14 South Carolina 1-0; At Georgia usually means Spurrier will try to hang 50 on scoreboard. (12)

15; Michigan State; 1-0; Rankman already forgotten whether Spartans are “Leaders” or “Legends.” (17)

16: Ohio State 1-0; Manning/Tressel gives Indianapolis Colts two pains in the neck. (19)

17; West Virginia 1-0; People say lightning never strikes same place twice … yeah, right. (21)

18; Arizona State 1-0; Mizzou wants to know if roof on inferno will be opened or closed. (22)

19; South Florida 1-0; Skip Holtz says Notre Dame toughest team he’s played since Navy. (NR)

20; Arkansas 1-0; You showed first opponent, all right, but it was Missouri State. (23)

21; Baylor 1-0: If Big 12 folds, Bears should be favored to win next year’s WAC. (NR)

22; Auburn 1-0; Fans who left Utah State early receive transfer orders to Alabama Birmingham. (20)

23; USC 1-0; Trojans should get extra year of probation every time Kiffin goes for two. (18)

24; Texas 1-0; Longhorn Network inks exclusive, 24/7 deal to broadcast “Pong.” (25)

25; Mississippi State 1-0; At Auburn this week, but it’s nothing Utah State couldn’t almost handle. (NR)

Dropped out: Notre Dame (11), Texas Christian (13), Georgia (24).

Moved in: South Florida, Baylor, Mississippi State.

chris.dufresne@latimes.com