Maria Sharapova back with a win, if not with a vengeance

In the savage and deeply weird world of tennis, people make “comebacks” at ages when many humans haven’t even thought about finding a direction in life.

This French Open already specializes in such, so on Monday the hot air of Roland Garros rang with that familiar old refrain of “Come on!” with which Maria Sharapova always implored herself until she went missing after last year’s Wimbledon.

A three-time Grand Slam champion, Sharapova and the rude right shoulder that had a date with a surgeon are attempting a comeback at an ancient 22.

And if that weren’t nutty enough, the nearby Bois de Boulogne might’ve felt wind also from the searing groundstrokes of one Alexa Glatch, the Newport Beach youth who dealt a sudden 6-1, 6-1, first-round rout to the world’s No. 14 player, Flavia Pennetta.

A onetime look-out-here-she-comes at 15 when she won a match at the 2005 U.S. Open, Glatch and the imposing 6-foot body that took on multiple injuries in a freak accident later in 2005 -- a dog attacked her as she rode a motorbike -- well, the two of them just epitomized her comeback. At 19.

“Yeah, I mean, when I was coming up, I did well when I was young,” Glatch said from her dotage in which she’ll turn a decrepit 20 come September.

Kim Clijsters will come back in July from retirement at 25, and Venus Williams at 28 has come back all the way to the top three for the first time in six years, a feat furthered Monday with her composed three-set win against the third-best American, Bethanie Mattek-Sands.

But Sharapova’s comeback, by the reckoning of both a reporter and herself in agreement, counts as a -- get this -- “second act.”

After laboring through a 3-6, 6-1, 6-2 victory over Anastasiya Yakimova of Belarus, the former No. 1 player said, “If I was a mentally weak person or individual, I think I wouldn’t be here today. I’d be on some island. . . . You know, with a nice cold pina colada and a nice cold towel they hand around at the pools. But I love being here, and there’s no better feeling than waving to the crowd after you’ve won.”

Elderly people say such sage things, including Sharapova’s guess that after a layoff she found downright bizarre for its lack of travel, she suspects she’ll spend less time in morose mode after defeats.

Glatch would have been a university sophomore by now -- UCLA accepted -- had she not overridden her parents’ temporary misgivings and given tennis another go.

Sublime while representing the United States in the recent Fed Cup win over Austria, and sublime on Monday while Fed Cup Captain Mary Joe Fernandez looked on, Glatch now has the feeling she can whack it with the best of them.

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chuck.culpepper@yahoo.com