Kellerman Finally Has a Role He Can Handle

There is a new show on Fox Sports Net in which Max Kellerman appears, and speaks, intelligently without annoying 90% of his audience while actually adding something useful to the realm of sports journalism.

It is called “Head to Head With James Brown.”

“Head To Head,” which made its debut last Sunday, is Fox Sports Net’s answer to “Real Sports,” only without the investigative bite of the HBO show. The hourlong program featured segments on four well-known sports figures, with Kellerman serving as one of four field reporters, a position ideally suited for his abilities: Role Player and Boxing Specialist.

Kellerman was dispatched to profile Roy Jones Jr., not an easy assignment, considering Jones’ rope-a-dope relationship with the media. Jones conducts much of the interview like a hostile witness, but Kellerman hangs in there, prodding him with tough questions that eventually elicit some insight.

“Here’s why Roy Jones might not be the greatest fighter who ever lived,” Kellerman says at one point. “Here’s what people say who say, no, he’s not: He fought Bernard Hopkins when he was too green. When he fought James Toney, he was too small. He fought Virgil Hill when he was too old. He never fought Nigel Benn or Gerald McClelland. How do you respond?”

As Jones listens to the roll call, he glares off in the distance, seeming to seethe at the mention of every name.

Eventually, Jones counters: “I respond by saying it’s strange that you say that, because Muhammad Ali fought Floyd Patterson when he was too old, he fought Sonny Liston when he had too many problems. Sugar Ray [Leonard] fought Tommy Hearns when he was too green, then he wouldn’t give him a rematch until he got too old.

“There’s always a reason whoever I beat up -- he was too this and he was too that.

“How was Hopkins too green when he was older than I am and had boxed longer than I had and had been to prison and everything else. He’s too green? Be for real.

“Look at it. How did I not fight Nigel Benn when I called Nigel Benn in his Los Angeles house, asked him to fight me. He told me he was going through a divorce, he would call me back and we would set something up. He never called me back. That’s me?

“I called Evander Holyfield, begged him to fight as a heavyweight -- I’ll fight you at your weight class.

“These people ain’t going to get me to heaven. These people, probably half of them aren’t going to make it themselves.”

The sparring continued literally, into the ring, with Kellerman donning gloves and a sort of Headgear Cam to give the viewers a sense of what it’s like to take a jab from Jones. Kellerman looked fairly ridiculous doing this, but then again, he looked fairly ridiculous as host of “Around the Horn.” If anything was worth a headline, it’s that the show’s producers found protective gear big enough to fit Kellerman’s head.

“Head to Head” forged onward with other pieces -- Curt Menefee spending time with Serena Williams and her guitar, Jay Glazer cruising with Warren Sapp and Brown sitting down with Jerry West in Memphis, Tenn.

When the program ended, however, there was a sense of unfinished business, of opportunity missed. How could marketing-mad Fox Sports Net pass up the chance to prop up its other new show and not devote a segment to the all-too-obvious: Max Kellerman interviewing Max Kellerman about Max Kellerman.

It would have been something to see, because somebody, certainly, has some explaining to do.

Max: “Hi, Max.”

Max: “No, it’s ‘I, MAX.’ You know that. You’ve seen the commercials. You’re in the commercials.”

Max: “ ‘I, MAX’? Why, Max?”

Max: “Because I needed to take my career in a bold, challenging and completely unexpected new direction.”

Max: “What were you doing before?”

Max: “Shouting at Michael Holley on television, occasionally silencing him by punching my mute button, and trading smug asides with Bill Wolff, better known as the ‘disembodied voice’ on ‘Around the Horn.’ ”

Max: “And what are you doing now?”

Max: “Shouting at Michael Holley on television, occasionally silencing him by punching my mute button, and trading smug, smirking asides with Bill Wolff.”

Max: “So your idea of career advancement is moving to Fox and ripping off the worst show ESPN ever put on the air?”

Max: “Well, that’s not all. I’m also ripping off ‘Pardon the Interruption.’ Did you see the judge’s wig Bill wore on the first show? And the card dealer’s shade he wore the second day? The guys on ‘PTI’ use props just like that!”

Max: “You also read and debate viewers’ e-mails, just like they do on ‘PTI.’ ”

Max: “Except the ‘PTI’ guys take turns answering the e-mails. Here, it’s just me. Holley uses the time to call his agent and ask if there’s an escape clause in his contract.”

Max: “And the part of your show you call ‘Devil’s Advocate,’ where you take a break from all the shouting and interview a figure in the sports world? On ‘PTI,’ they call the same thing, ‘Five Good Minutes.’ ”

Max: “Yeah, but we don’t. See, we’re different.”

Max: “Your first guest was Michael Strahan of the New York Giants, who ended his session by looking into the camera and actually saying to you, ‘You’re good, you’re good.’ I thought the show was supposed to be confrontational and controversial, yet you book guests whose apparent main function is to tell the host how great he is?”

Max: “I got that from Jim Rome.”

Max: “I see you also have a goatee.”

Max: “I got that from Jim Rome.”

Max: “Is there anything about ‘I, MAX’ you didn’t lift from somewhere or someone else?”

Max: “Well, I tried to get Woody Paige, but he wouldn’t come.”

Max: “I noticed. It’s the best thing about ‘I, MAX.’ ”

Max: “See, I told you you’d love it!”