Southern Illinois basketball Coach Barry Hinson delivered a rant for the ages Tuesday night following a 73-65 loss to Murray State that dropped the Salukis to 2-8.
Remember when Oklahoma State football Coach Mike Gundy had the meltdown to end all meltdowns in defense of one of his players? (Of course you do.)
Well, this was kind of the opposite. Though Hinson reached Gundy's level of intensity at certain points during his five-plus minutes of public venting, he actually ripped into his players, taking no prisoners along the way.
"It's unbelievable how our starting guards played," he said during the loudest, angriest portion of the tirade. "And let's talk about our big guys. Two for 11! How can you go two for 11? My wife -- my wife! -- can score more than two buckets on 11 shots because I know my wife will at least shot fake one time.
"But those guys aren't listening. They're uncoachable right now."
And there was so much more good stuff, such as when Hinson compared coaching his team to "housetraining a puppy dog":
"You know what, when the dog does something wrong" [he then rolls up a paper and smacks the table twice] "Bad dog! You know, I'm not gonna hit 'em, I'm not gonna swat 'em, but, 'Bad dog! Get on the treadmill!' That's probably what I need to do."
Hinson also called his players "mama's boys," and said they looked like they were getting shot by snipers out on the court.
He even threw in some holiday cheer.
"We made three turnovers tonight where we just came down and threw them the ball," Hinson said. "I swear one time that one of our players said, 'Merry Christmas.' I thought it was a gift."