OK, so it doesn’t quite make up...

OK, so it doesn’t quite make up for the strike: The full uniform worn by Charlie Sheen’s Wild Thing character in the baseball movie “Major League II” will go on the auction block next month. And we mean full uniform. The lucky bidder at the Long Beach Coin and Collectible Exposition will be able to take home Wild Thing’s cup and athletic supporter.

Never let it be said that nobody could carry Charlie Sheen’s jock.

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No labor problems here!Three members of the Dodgers (remember the Dodgers?) have graciously agreed to attend the Oct. 6-9 Long Beach show to sign autographs.

For a price.

Rookie star Raul Mondesi will have the most expensive scrawl ($12).

Well, you didn’t think the ballplayers would go on an autograph strike, did you?

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Hope for fans?In “The Dreyfus Affair,” a novel set in 1998, major league baseball still exists. In fact, Van Nuys has an American League club--the L.A. Valley Vikings, whose beautiful 125,000-seat stadium sits “on the old Sepulveda Reservoir site between the San Diego and Ventura freeways.”

The problem is, we’re not sure about author Peter Lefcourt’s talents as a prophet. His main character receives a request to make a TV appearance--on Arsenio Hall’s talk show.

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Wrong brand for an intergalactic picnic: The name “Boys Market” will soon disappear as the result of a supermarket merger. But Boys achieved a sort of immortality long ago in the 1982 movie “E.T.” You may recall the scene in which the little alien goes out to the kitchen of his earthling hosts and tastes the contents of a bottle labeled Boys Market Potato Salad. He then groans and flings the container against the wall. Boys later discontinued that label.

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No Goodby, Dolly: In a nostalgic mood, Sylvia Clay of L.A. wrote to tell us about the funniest piece of graffiti she’d ever seen. It began as “God Save Us” on a wall near the Music Center a few years ago. Later, she observed, someone added the words, “From ‘Hello Dolly’ Revivals.”

Well, no sooner had we received Clay’s letter than we noticed this item on a wire service news budget: “8 p.m.--The Civic Light Opera will perform ‘Hello Dolly’ at the Redondo Beach Performing Arts Center. . . .”

Obviously, He can’t make everyone’s wishes come true.

miscelLAny A tribute to British movies at the Directors Guild on Sunset Boulevard Sept. 30-Oct. 2 will include “26 Bathrooms” (“A characteristically playful look at British plumbing. . . .”), “Shopping” (“Gangs of joy riders crash kamikaze-style through department store windows. . . .”) and “Hookers, Hustlers, Pimps & Their Johns.” We didn’t think a synopsis was needed for the last one.