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TIMES RANKINGS

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The top drawer schools were so opposite of extraordinary on Bowl Championship Series opening weekend that Rankman considered calling Mount Union up from Division III Pawtucket just to light a fire under the major leaguers. Alabama moving to No. 1 in the Associated Press poll after a game in which it committed four turnovers shows one top-25 tally man may be Solomon in moving the Crimson Tide along slowly. Think of the satisfaction when Nick’s kids finally reach the top?

If Rankman had any guts he’d . . . put Cincinnati at No. 1 and disconnect his Internet service.

Rk.; TEAM

Comment (Last week’s ranking)

1

TEXAS

6-0

State Fair custodian says job only calls for cleaning up after the animals. (1)

2

FLORIDA

6-0

Tebow’s new promise: “No player will get up faster after getting sacked.” (2)

3

CINCINNATI

6-0

Close to cutting deal with Boise to play in Orrin Hatch Bowl. (4)

4

BOISE STATE

6-0

Potato Czar hoping he’ll have enough Freedom Fries for Nov. Idaho game. (3)

5

OREGON

5-1

Tuesday injury report on Masoli: “He’s a little more day-er to day-er today.” (5)

6

ALABAMA

6-0

Rankman hasn’t caught Tuscaloosa Fever but has a scratchy throat. (7)

7

USC

5-1

Matt Barkley on Monday named Chucky Cheese’s player of the year. (8)

8

TEXAS

CHRISTIAN 6-0

Some Horned Frogs getting jumpy before big game at BYU. (6)

9

MIAMI

5-1

Hurricanes can almost coast and win the ACC Coastal Division. (11)

10

IOWA

7-0

We’ll join fan club if offered decoder ring and “Boy’s Life” subscription. (12)

11

GEORGIA

TECH 6-1

So much for notion the triple option won’t work in a BCS conference. (23)

12

BRIGHAM

YOUNG 6-1

Sen. Hatch asks Obama to pardon last year’s 32-7 loss to TCU. (13)

13

OKLAHOMA

STATE 5-1

Bermuda Triangle game of week: Cowboys at Waco on Versus. (14)

14

LOUISIANA

STATE 5-1

Looking to upstage Alabama in story of how the SEC West is won. (15)

15

HOUSTON

5-1

Cougars second in Conference USA but 2-0 in Big 12 South. (22)

16

PENN STATE

6-1

John Wooden sends head coach a note: “Keep up the good work, kid.” (16)

17

VIRGINIA

TECH 5-2

Just a friendly reminder the Chick-fil-A bowl is closed on Sundays. (9)

18

SOUTH

CAROLINA 5-2

Spurrier knew Alabama was using tape when holder’s knee stuck to turf. (24)

19

OHIO STATE

5-2

Pryor awakens in cold sweat after dream he signed with Michigan. (10)

20

OREGON

STATE 4-2

Rodgers Bros. on stage Saturday at Coliseum and then at Huddle Hut. (25)

21

OKLAHOMA

3-3

Bobby Boomer’s bottom line: losses by five points to Texas, BYU, Miami. (17)

22

UTAH

5-1

Odds are long team can make another BCS bowl and beat Alabama. (NR)

23

TEXAS TECH

5-2

Red Raiders quarterback (insert name) sure can rack up passing yards. (NR)

24

WEST VIRGINIA

5-1

Needed volunteer for No. 24 and one Mountaineer raised his hand. (NR)

25

NOTRE DAME

4-2

Irish are 0 for their last 14 against USC and Boston College. (19)

Dropped out: Kansas (18), South Florida (20), Nebraska (21).

Moved in: Texas Tech, West Virginia, Utah.

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